Comfort me with Kindness

This morning, I opened my garage door with the goal of getting the garbage cans out to the curb, but one of my neighbors had already rolled them into place for me. Maybe it was the stress-exhaustion speaking (because, even though you don't really do much when you are helping someone with his medical needs, energy-wise, other than spooning ice chips and the occasional but very-appreciated Jello and carrying on semi-lucid conversations which sometimes make you giggle, it's thoroughly exhausting), but seeing the cans already on the curb made me a little bit weepy. There is just something so comforting in un-asked-for service. And I don't use that word, comfort, lightly. It comes when people call, just to offer help, or when others are patient with me because I've not made as many update phone calls as I should have. Friends and neighbors who've helped with Kaleb or brought dinner. Meals that would be delicious nevertheless, but made more savory with their spice of charity.

It is good to be reminded that we are not alone. It is good to be comforted with kindness.

Nearly six weeks ago, when Kendell found out about his heart troubles, one of his first questions was "why me?" I cannot answer that question for him. As I tried to make him feel better, I tried not to ask that question of myself: why my husband? Instead, I am trying to focus on the blessings, like the fact that we discovered it just in time. (The surgeon told us that his heart was in much more trouble than he ever expected, and if we'd have waited much longer it would have been too late.), and the feeling that accompanies that fact which keeps building in me, that there is something more for Kendell to do with his life, and the heart thing is something, for some reason, he needed to experience in order to do it. The blessing of health insurance, and coworkers who've covered our work. The great surgeon we found.

What I continue to learn is that when you are the wife, you get to piggyback on both your husband's troubles and on the associated blessings. The garbage cans at the curb reminded me of the power inherent in simple kindness. Too often, I don't help enough because I don't have the time for the Big Gesture. I remembered this morning that the small things mean just as much. Because it is not so much the type of kindness that is offered but the offering itself, and the way it fills you up with knowing that, no matter what, there will be others who will love you.

Comments

[becky]

Oh, I wish I was closer so I could bring you dinner or take in your cans. But I keep thinking of you and Kendell and you cute family and hoping things are good. Love you all.

Tell Kendell HI and that I'm glad everything went so well.

[Candace]

I am glad I now have your blog address. You are truly an inspiring woman. I have learned so much more about you.
I am glad everything is going well for Kendall and his recovery so far. PLEASE let me know how we can help. We will stop by and see Kendall when he is a little more lucid. Ernie has a little something for him. Take care. You are in our prayers.

[cris]

So glad to hear things are ok... I imagine the past little while has been a bit overwhelming. Loved your post today... as always.

Hugs & Prayers! :)

[Sophia]

Amy, you couldn't have said it any better. Inspiring and I may quote you soon! I wish I was there to bring you dinner, to help with the kids (I'd keep Doug away! LOL) or just to listen. You've been in our prayers. Give Kendell our love.

S~

[Judy]

Amy, don't I feel dumb. There I was glibly talking to you in Church on Sunday and I had NO idea you and Kendall were facing such an ordeal. Today I finally get around to reading your blog (haven't had the chance for quite a while) and what a shock. I wish I'd known. I would have given you a big hug on Sunday, at the very least. You are in my prayers now. I'm so glad your neighbors are there taking care of you. They're wonderful, aren't they? You're well loved - by all of us.

[Britt]

Hey Amy! I just got caught up in Google Reader, and I was 6 posts behind on your blog. I knew something was going on with Kendall from your FB status updates, but I didn't know what. I'm sorry to hear of his heart problem. I hope he has a speedy and healthy recovery. Open heart surgery, no matter how "routine" it may be, is a big deal. I'm glad you guys were able to work with a surgeon you like and trust. Best wishes!