Spooky...in Unexpected Ways

Halloween this year was downright strange. Kendell was hanging out in bed, recuperating from open heart surgery. That in itself set off a chain reaction:

We're trying to keep him germ free (can you imagine having a cough when you've just had your sternum cut open?)

so

I had to hand out the Halloween candy to the trick-or-treaters

so

my kids didn't have parents to take them trick-or-treating

so

the surrogate parents started stepping up.

Haley went with Jade (granted, she wouldn't have gone with me anyway),

Jake went with his friend Reilly,

Nathan went with his friend Jacob,

and Kaleb went with his friend Lucas.

How strange is that? Each of my kids, begging for candy from the neighbors, with a different friend. I'm not sure I even remember for certain which Halloween was the last one when the four of us all went trick-or-treating together. Quite possibly it was 2005. I hate it when watershed moments pass me by and I don't even notice. So I sat in the front room, waiting for trick-or-treaters and thinking about how this Halloween is probably the new normal. Of course it is. They're all only going to get older, and want to do more things with friends instead of their mom. My brain understands that it's normal.

My heart? Not so much.

Another strange thing: I didn't get a group photo of everyone in their costume together. I always have a group photo! This year, though, Jake left earlier than everyone else, so I just got him by himself. (Note the costume: prison convict, which I found by sheer luck, on clearance, at Joann. Two days before Halloween. It was way too big for him, but he'd not had any strong "I want to be this for Halloween" ideas, so we went with easy rather than fabulous, as in years past.)

Later, I did manage to get Haley, Nathan, and Kaleb together for a snapshot, too.

Haley was a fairy, courtesy of Jade's grandma, who made her fairy skirt for her. (Haley and Jade were twin fairies, although I didn't get a photo of them together, either. Dang.) Nathan reluctantly wore the werewolf costume, which almost doesn't look like anything without the mask, which he hated and wouldn't wear. Kaleb wore the knight costume, which he has worn almost without pause for the past two weeks, so it's all bedraggled and worn out.

Yeah: not the year for fabulous costumes.

Kaleb was the first kid to come home. He didn't want to keep going, even though his friend wasn't finished, so they dropped him off on their way out of our cul-de-sac. He was happy to get into his 'jammies, sort through his candy, and then help me pass out the loot to the trick-or-treaters. He'd stand by the window until he spotted a new group of kids, and then he'd say "Mom! There's a new bunch of customers coming!" He'd wait very impatiently (running around in circles, mostly, stopping occasionally to hug me) for the "customers" to knock on the door, and then he'd put one piece of candy into everyone's bag. Plus, he'd comment: "wow, guy, that is a cool clown face ya've got there!" and once he said "you sure are big for a trick or treater guy!" which made me laugh.

They slowly trickled in, the rest of my kids: Haley and Jade first, and since Haley is trying to achieve her goal of going an entire YEAR without candy (she started in February and is still going strong!), she let me sort through hers to pick out my favorites (Almond Joys, Reese's, Hereshy's bars, and banana Laffy Taffys) before she gave the rest to Jade. Jake came next, and handed over the few items with peanuts he hadn't managed to trade with his friends (he's allergic to peanuts). Finally Nathan, who was nearly glowing after eating dinner and trick-or-treating and watching a movie with his friend's family (thanks so much, Jamie!).

Somewhere within all those comings and goings, I did have time to sit for a minute, all by myself, and just think. About how life moves on, despite hardships, regardless of whether you want it to or not. About how sweet those long-gone Halloweens were, when all my little ones went out together with me---Haley protecting Jake from peanuts (very helpfully putting Snickers and Reese's into her bucket), or Nathan toddling along between Haley and Jake, or the year Kaleb was a baby and we took him trick-or-treating in the stroller. How I usually have more energy and enthusiasm for cool costumes. How it's OK that things have changed, because it was still a pretty good holiday, despite everything.

Comments

[Jamie]

hate to think of a cough on Kendell's healing body. Mark got pneumonia after his double hernia and to watch his face while he coughed was painful. ouch. I hope you can keep him well.

Every time we have Nathan over I remember why I adore him. He's the best! :) anytime...

[Kayci Bitton]

I love the cute things Kaleb says. Halloween, what a strange holiday:) Glad you enjoyed it.

[Sophia]

I hope that things settle down quickly there, Amy. You've been in my prayers a lot. Are you able to leave Kendell and work yet? Or are you his right hand man right now? Don't forget to take care of you! LYB.

~me~

[Margot/NZ]

We don't really do Halloween in NZ but I'm enjoying reading about it in the various US magazines and blogs. I think that convict costume is really cute and Kaleb wearing his knight's costume for 2 weeks beforehand made me smile (remembering the days when Edward wore the black cape I made for him just about everywhere we went). Thanks for putting this all down, and remember that sweetness comes in many guises - don't regret the passing of old traditions so much that you forget to notice the new ones forming.

[Karen Greenfield]

Gee, Amy, take care of yourself...I expect you are taken up with others at this point, but do be careful of you. xxKaren

[becky]

I love Nathan's face in the picture; I can imagine Thomas making the same face! Ah, I love boys.