on a Rant

Ok, yeah, I know: It is shocking. Surprising. Utterly unheard of. But: I am in a funk.

Funk as in grumpy. Funk as in: the thought of putting up my Christmas decorations makes me want to scream, slit my wrists, and then take a nap. Funk as in: ZERO ideas or enthusiasm over shopping. Funk as in: I don't want to go running, I don't want to go to the gym, I don't want to do anything except eat Hershey's kisses.

Funk as in not at all fun to be with.

I mean, hello? I didn't even write about what I'm grateful for, which I usually do in November. We ran out of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving (I think I had one tablespoon of them) and I am still annoyed about it. Thanksgiving is usually my favorite holiday (because it isn't about "what did YOU get" but just "what did you bring to put on the table?") but this one ended with me feeling out-of-sorts and superfluous and old. I finally, a few days after Thanksgiving, finished the Thanksgiving quilt I started six weeks before last Thanksgiving, but I don't even care (in fact, I am annoyed by how I arranged the squares and am thinking about dumping the entire thing into the D.I. box).

In the immortal words of Nathan: what the?

I feel like everything has already been done. Like I am remembering my life instead of living it. Books haven't made me happy, and poems have failed me, and even writing itself hasn't snapped me out of my funk. The occasional long walk I've taken with Kendell gives me a bit of reprieve---for about three minutes. Partly it's the weather: the nothing weather. The fall colors are gone, but it's cold. There's no snow. It's just brown and chilly and grey and dry and indefinable: nothing weather. I hate it. It makes me feel like the world is coming to an end.

Coming to an end tomorrow.

And the dumb thing is, my life is just fine. Kendell has a job (for now!) and I have a job. Our kids are healthy. We are all OK. Don't get me wrong: I could catalog my woes. But in general, in comparison, I have nothing to complain about. And it's not even complaining, really. It is just persistent, stubborn funk. Funk that won't lift.

Anyone want to come and slap me?

Comments

[Denise]

Okay, I wish I lived near you because we would be BEST FRIENDS! I am feeling the EXACT same way and was just sitting here before I read my blogs wondering some of the same things you said in your post. I will slap you if you slap me! haha! Thanks so much for your always insightful posts because they really help me not feel so alone sometimes!

[valerie]

Feeling the same here!!! I'm supposed to go to Utah later this month to see my Dad and cousins, not excited! Fear of flying doesn't help.

I felt the same about Thanksgiving, and what's worse, is that my oldest felt the same. I think it has to do with my bil and sil, they don't do things with alot of emotion, just the routine and schedule, no fun, no warmth, very yankee and new england. And the fried turkey took way too long and we missed that turkey smell.

Cheer up, alot of us feel that way, it's nice to have company albeit cyber company.

Have a better day,
Valerie

[Jenna]

I am frequently Miss Queen-Funkness. I find it helpful to just go through the motions & get things done, even if I don't care & don't feel like it. Getting stuff done seems to help a bit. And laying off the sugar. And listening to music that I like.

Hope it passes quickly. :)

[Lucy]

I get the funk sometimes too. Everyone always says service is the way to get rid of it, but since sometimes that never-ending-service-train-of-motherhood is the actual cause of the funk, my surefire way to step out of the cloud is to have lunch or a dinner night with a few good friends. Not a large crowd. Two or three is usually the perfect number to get the juices flowing again...and remember that life/quilts/and especially mashed potatoes are worth the trouble.

Wish I could take you out! In the meantime, i hope today is less frustrating than yesterday.

[TinaVG]

WOW I am right with you on this one - I have no real clue why I am in a FUNK either, but just can't seem to get myself out of it. More like I don't want to get myself out of it!

I am going to try and feel the spirit! Hang in!

Tina in NJ

[Susan]

this to shall pass . . .

[Shaunte]

I am sitting next to you.
And I have been eating garbage, and then I am mad at myself for eating it, and feeling bloated.
We make an awesome couple! lol

[cris]

I know the feeling all to well. A run.... that physical release, even when I don't feel like it always helps keep those feelings at bay. And Cleaning! I am a nut when it comes to cleaning and organizing.... when I'm really in a funk the house is really clean - in a creepy sort of way! ;) Hang in there..... I'll run and clean for you till you find your way out!

[Candace]

I hear you! I have been trying to put up my Christmas for 2 days now. I can't lift the boxes yet, and my kids don't seem to care if we put up decorations or not??? UGH! teenagers. Christmas was much more fun and exciting when my kids were little.
I won't slap you, but I would love to go to lunch or dinner with you. Let me know if you have a free moment, and let's go. I think you are amazing, I am sure you will find your way out of your funk. Hang in there!

[Britt]

Get out of that funk! Right now!

(Did that work? No? What if I type it in all caps??)

Sorry you're in a funk. Funk is not a fun place to be. I hope you find a way out soon!

You better not give that quilt to the DI! But if you do, let me know which one you take it to so I can go buy it and give it back to you next year (when you're out of your funk... or at least in a different funk).

HUGS!

[Chris Selander]

The way out of a funk is a night out. Let's plan one soon. And if that doesn't work I'll slap you :) ha,ha

[becky]

Oh, I've scratched you, but never slapped you; wow, now that seems like a missed opportunity. Just kidding.

Don't give the quilt away. Back away from the quilt, Amy.

[stacyj]

OK, listen ... I want you to start downloading and listening to Todd Henry at accidentalcreative.com -- I'm serious. I don't think you're in a funk, I think you just need to not expect perpetual harvest and start planting seeds again.

I know, sounds like poster jargon ... but it works. It worked for me this morning. I can feel "me" coming back. Not the old me that I thought I missed, but a new, different me. It's going to take a while, but I have time.

and FYI, I had so many mashed potatos left over that I filled two tupperwares and finally threw them out this morning. Mashed potatoes aren't that great left-over.

love you.

[Maureen]

You know I would have been happy to come slap you if you promised to slap me back, but I didn't get the message, because my internet has been down. So sorry about your cat.