- Thinking about the value of sisters. I've always had a specific grief over Haley not having a sister (even though she claims she's glad...more spoiling for her!). I can't imagine how life might feel for me now, as an adult, to not have sisters to call for support, shoulders, laughter, sarcasm, and advice. I hope my second-best alternative, the one I pray for now, will happen instead: that life will bring Haley some surrogate sisters.
- Also thinking about friends, and how much I love the ones I have. I've got to be honest: I'm not a person who makes friends easily. I think I probably come across as bitchy when really I'm just deeply uncomfortable in social situations. But the friends who have looked past that exterior and found the real me? I can't even say how grateful I am for you. Some of you are reading this right now! You know who you are! Haley has been teaching me this lesson, too, as she's gone through her recent friend break up. It has reminded me to cherish the friendships I have because the real ones? Well, they are priceless.
- Wishing my mom had been looking at the camera in this picture, and that my cheeks looked less like Lady Elaine Fairchilde's, and that I'd remembered to bring my big flash,
but still glad to have it: (she sewed aprons for all of us. How sweet was that?) On Thanksgiving, before we said the prayer and started eating, she talked about how she always wished for a big family (she only had one brother). There we were with thirty of us in one house! Seems her wish came true, yes? She also talked about how much her mom would have loved seeing this. Then I cried a little bit. Is it strange that my grandma's been gone for almost 20 years—25 if you could her last years, which were fogged by dementia—and I still miss her?
- Today I called in sick. Not to the library (it's hard to find someone to cover shifts on short notice, and I only had to work for three hours), but to mommyhood. I stayed in bed almost all day. I did nothingbut watch movies with Kaleb, sleep, and read books. I also drank a lot of orange juice. Honestly, my cold doesn't feel much better but I think my soul needed a mellow day. I feel rejuvenated and might even have some energy if I could, you know, breath without coughing.
- I am so enjoying how much Kaleb loves being read to. I mean, I've always read to him, but he loves it so much now. (He has been known to merely tolerate it in the past.) I checked out a few Thanksgiving storybooks this year and they brought a unique feel to the entire month. Every night, he finds which ever blanket he wants to use, we sit together on the couch, and read. Perhaps it feels so sweet because one day soon he'll be reading to me instead, the slow and stumbling and slightly frustrating learning of words, and then he'll be reading to himself and there'll be no one else to take his place next to me, with his toes hooked together in pleasure.
- Last night Kendell found our cordless phone. The one that we've been looking for for months. Months! When I took it off the charger this morning, I had to laugh: the last call on the caller ID was on July 7!
I know. Sort of a random list. Just a couple of things I wanted to remember right now, on the last November night of the year.