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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Comments

Lucy

My dad forwarded this article to me a few days ago, and, like you, I don't read any of them. I do read CJane, though I'm likely to stop because it feels more and more commercial and less witty and irreverent like it used to.

You know how I feel about perfection. It isn't that I don't believe these women are happy, or good mothers, or good wives. I believe they are. It's just that with their drive to seem so perfect, they ignore the equally beautiful (to me) face of humanity. Plus, I might be jealous too.

What frustrated me about that article was that it was such an unfair stereotype of mormon bloggers. I think they are as popular as they are for the exact reason the author of the salon.com article expressed - so many people want a glimpse into a life so unlike their own. I've no doubt there is some crazy talented women who draw a large audience due to their creativity and craft, but, mostly, I think it is a little like watching Ozzie and Harriet, or Leave it to Beaver. It's wholesome. It's uplifting. It's probably not real.

I love your blog. I love your mind. I really, really enjoy your friendship, which, contrary to what you think, is fabulous.

Lucy

Oh my goodness, there is a sentence there in my third paragraph that is cringe inducing. Forgive my shifting in and out of singular and plural. Wow. Me write pretty some day.

Shaunte

I guess my blog is what one would consider a palate cleanser. lol.
I could not agree with you more.
And my house is also "fairly lame—no one would ever think it is well-decorated."
We could go to lunch, and really enjoy ourselves.

CAITLIN

Random commenter here, skipping over from your link at Segullah. I'm not one to randomly respond on blogs I'm not familiar with, but I just have to say that after reading the Salon article, I could not agree more with your analysis.Thank you, your perspective is a breath of fresh air.

Aprilyn Bucklein

I used to try to keep up on Nie Nie Diaglouges and Cjane, but I quit reading them too. I don't have a perfect life, nor do I want that. My life is filled with the constant stress that having a child with Autism brings. Not to mention, I think my husband has Aspeger's too. We are SWIMMING in debt, we don't live in a home, we live in a duplex we can hardly afford. We don't have lots of extended family dropping by just to babysit so we can go out. It's just not reality. Reality is your life, and mine, and others who struggle day after day to maintain that little bit of sanity we still have left. I'm with you..being LDS does not guarantee your life will be shiny and perfect and happy. I'd like to see one of those "special" bloggers try a day in my shoes. Try dealing with the child whose clothes bother him, who won't eat, and who can't sleep. Yeah...I don't think they would feel too happy and sparkly.

Janssen

I love this post. Every bit of it.

Makes me feel better about living in a white on white apartment with one couch.

Maureen

I can't follow blogs full of happy perfection, I can't help but feel the writers are either fake, or insane. So right or wrong they are not for me.

Megan B.

From one rogue Mormon to another, thank you!

wendy

Amen.

Now I have to go clean off my wheat grinder and play duplos with my son.

That sounds good, but we won't be able to eat at the kitchen table because it's a disaster . . . again.

Valerie

I totally agree with you. Your blog and some others I read often are the blogs that are uplifting, inspirational and real. I stopped reading some of the more famous mormon mommy blogs, they are so superficial and in la-la land, also so very full of narcissim and a self-centeredness that borders on insane.

We all struggle with our faith, our family relationships, our teenagers, ourselves. But, the nice thing about you and some others, is that you put it out there, good, bad, ugly, beautiful. These are the words that I find help me in my life and my similar situations.

Thank you for your honesty and realism, I'll take any day.

Becky K

I had these exact feelings of inadequacy (an inability to decorate) on Sunday, and honestly after stopping by cjane/nienie for the first time in a while. I retracted my post because it was whiney and lame. Which yours, my dear sister, is anything but.

but your post is perfect. It is my feelings exactly. I am swimming in apathy and inadequacy. My life does not look like theirs. I have a friend on FB who fits exactly into this category and I CANNOT stop looking at her perfect life.

Speaking of antidepressants: where is mine? thinking of joining that vast army of happy mormons out there.....

Britt

I have so much to say about that article and those blogs, but I don't have the words. I'll just say this: I don't read them either. And this: I'm disappointed in the image those blogs are creating for us.

Sherry

Amy well said. I could hang with you, we could blog about the messes we get into, I think we would connect irl.

Margot/NZ

As someone who is closer (though a lot older!) to the lifestyle/philosophical base of the author of the article you referenced, than to Mormons (of any category), I can say that I've never read any of the 'Mormon mommy' blogs (and now that I've been for a look, won't be taking any of them up). I do read your blog because of your honesty.
Anyone of any philosophical base has struggles with 'life' and how difficult it is to make ourselves fit the ideals we hold most close. Most of us write about these in private, if we write about them at all. What I find so refreshing is that you write about your struggles somewhere I can see. I find common ground with you, and that is why I keep coming back to read more.
(That and your poetry posts, which are one of the best things on the internet).

Lisa

At the beginning of this year I had a massive cull on my reader. I went from 60+ blogs to just 13. I kept yours because it's real and honest. BTW I kept Karen Grunberg for this very same reason too. I love your words and your quilts. And the fact that there is definitely no excess of fabulous.

Pamela K.

Just like the writer on Salon.com, I'm not a Mormon and I find myself gravitating to the mormon mommy blogs. I like to read them for the recipes and craft ideas. But as far as their perfect children, husbands, homes and complexions, I wonder how much of what they show on their blogs are real. I keep thinking that their lives can't be that perfect. Like the others have said, that is why I love reading your blog. You show what it is like to be a "real". In my community, the only Mormons I know are the fresh faced missionaries that will show up at my doorstep on occasion. I imagine their parents being great looking and their mothers being the perfect housewives. I would hate to live under that kind of pressure. Your blog is a breath of fresh air.

cris

I haven't read the article.. don't need to, although I probably will since you have mentioned it. I don't read mormon mommy blogs and didn't really know they existed... other than nie nie, because I think everyone on the planet has heard of that. Amy, you are real and honest and that is what I love so much about you --- I love real - I become extremely uncomfortable around perfection. Thanks so much for being real - that is one of the main things that draws me so strongly to your blog.

Rochelle

I don't read those blogs either - I blog stalk you and I love the fact that you are honest and real! I love the fact that you aren't fake...or I can relate cause life isn't perfect.

And I agree - I envy/hate/am really really jealous of some of the lifes I read about - but I love reading more when people talk about things I can really relate to - which isn't perfectness

Marianne

I don't remember how I found your blog-some random link from another site, but (like many others have listed) I do love the struggles and heartfelt self examination that you present here. I blog stalk you too, and almost wish I lived in UT just to be able to know you.

I am sure that you didn't post to get reassurance from all of us, but we are all reassured by your words so it makes sense to encourage you with responses. I have almost responded often, but my English isn't perfect--but after your post I figure you won't judge too harshly.

I realized that I need to post more realistically, and not just on the good days or when something funny happened. Thank you for reminding me that my representation of life needs to include the messy things, the hard things, that even the things I'm embarrassed about. Thank you Amy.

Lyndsay

Amy,
I feel so happy that you posted this. I too can't read those blogs because they make me jealous or better yet upset that someone really honestly thinks life is that perfect!! I am with you, my house isn't perfect, my kids are great but not perfect and my husband well, like you say you fight all the time!! Ditto there.. Life just isn't that way at all. I personally think that people who think life is like that really wish their life was like that and have to make it look or sound like that just to make themselves look better!! I have a neighbor just like that. My kids aren't aloud to play with hers because who knows the heck why but she thinks they are so much better and so much prettier and so much richer and happier!! Life isn't about the little things that you have in life it is about what you have and can hold on to!! Each other, your house, your car, food, the gospel... I think people just really wished they lived the "perfect" life and that is why they have have have a "perfect mommy blog" but i just have to say blah. blah. blah. lol
Love you!
Sorry for my english too! hehe ;)

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