Note to Self: The Toenail Polish Edition

Dear self:

When you've been running lots and lots of miles, many of them downhill, it's best to leave the toenail polish on. Even if it is chipped. Paint over the chips instead of taking it all off, because if you remove it all, you'll discover something awful:

All that running has killed half of your toenail. Middle toe, left foot.

Of course, once you see the tell-tale, off-white shade (the exact color of those skeletons some doctors have in their offices), you'll be helpless. You'll have to cut it off.

And then you'll realize that you've just devastated your daughter. You know, the daughter who's been dying to get a pedicure with you, and waiting patiently for your other dead toenail to grow back. Because who gets a pedicure with half a missing toenail? Now you'll have naked toes just begging to be painted, and those awful shocks that happen every time you accidentally bump your flayed middle toenail against something, and a disappointed/annoyed daughter.

See? None of this would have happened if you'd just left your sort-of icky toenail polish in place. Trust me: next time, just leave it on.

Love,

Me

Comments

[wendy]

Oh, poor toes! And poor daughter!

Drat those running consequences!

[Britt]

For real? Running can do that? All the more reason for me to hold still.

[Helena]

Ow!

[Jenna]

We forgot to list missing toenails as one of the annoyances of running. I went to get a pedicure a few-too-many weeks ago after my #4 toe (next to the pinky) lost its nail. I was surprised that my pedicure lady could take care of my toe & paint a pretend nail there. It looked pretty good, even though it didn't last for more than a few weeks.

[Wendy]

I have two permanently removed large toenails (due to a persistent fungal infection caught in the Philippines). I have often wondered whether there is some way to place a temporary replacement toenail on so I can polish ALL of my toenails (honestly, I almost never do it, because the polish wears off on the two bare toes and then merely draws more attention to my unique trait - search for my blog post on "unique trait" sometime - ha)?