I confess: I didn’t love my wedding day. Something like that is sort of strange to live with, like the fact that no one signed my Junior yearbook (because I even sluffed the yearbook signing day!), or that I didn’t go to prom, or that I put "Mr." instead of "Dr." next to Kendell’s dad’s name on my wedding invitation. It feels a little pathetic, wandering through life without those contemporary milestones, but it’s still the truth. My wedding day wasn't the most blissful day of my life.
My lack of bliss had nothing to do with my marriage, or even with the festivities. My sisters and mom worked hard to make sure I had delicious food at my reception: tiny chicken salad and crab salad sandwiches, vegetables and dip, hand-made mint chocolate temples, individual cherry cheesecakes. It was all very elegant, in an old house that had been renovated as a reception center. I loved my dress and veil (even though now I look at them and shudder a little bit, they look so dated). I think my bridesmaid dresses were gorgeous (although, Chris and Becky might disagree). The flowers were perfect.
No, the uncomfortable feeling I get when I remember my wedding day doesn’t come from the details. It doesn’t come from the fact that we got married in February when I really wanted a May wedding. It snowed that day, one of those bleary, miserly winter days, so all of my photos at the temple are ugly and grey. It doesn’t even come from the fact that the combination of winter weather and a Jazz basketball game on the same night meant that quite a few of our more casual friends didn’t come. No—it comes from the fact that I was 19, and standing in that gorgeous antique house in my beloved wedding gown was deeply, deeply unpleasant. I didn’t enjoy being the center of attention like that. And, at 19, I didn’t know myself well enough to know just how uncomfortable and unpleasant I’d feel in that position.
So when I received the assignment to make a wedding layout for this month’s WCS gallery, I was more than a little anxious. I haven’t scrapped my wedding photos. I have absolutely zero desire to scrapbook my wedding photos. In fact, they are somewhere at my mom’s house, which really means I might never see them again. So, instead of making a layout about my own wedding, I made one about Haley from a wedding we went to six years ago, my niece Lyndsay's:
I wrote the journaling based on some thoughts I wrote in my journal that night. They focus on my hopes for Haley when she gets married: that she, too, will love the details, but also that she’ll get it right, somehow. More right than I did, so that when she looks back she only remembers being happy instead of mortified like I felt.
What about you? Did everything about your wedding day make you happy? Have you scrapped your photos? If you want some ideas, you should visit the gallery—there are some awesome ones there!