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Monday, December 05, 2011



Oh, I needed to read this post this morning. I am really bad about comparing myself (both favorably and unfavorably) to others and the older I get, the more I recognize how destructive that is. But it's still hard for me to fight against.

heather hoyt

Sometimes, too, some people are just good at doing things, but not so good at being something.

It doesn't matter what we can do, as long as we are trying to be our best selves.

I loved this post. This morning, I wrote out a list of my small successes in life. It made me feel better--even when I'm not perfect, there are those things I can do. And sometimes it's nice to focus on them.


Wonderful post, of course! It was good to talk with you a little about this the other day. Keeping our eyes on the doughnut, and not the hole . . . . Thanks for posting this!


You are amazing! And there have been many many many times that I have thought if I could be more like Amy. My teenage daughter wouldn't despise me, I could sew beautiful things, I could write eloquently, I could have a job, always have me kids clean, dressed and well behaved, I could run a marathon, my kids scrapbooks would be caught up, I would always have something thoughtful to say, I could bake, and so many other wonderful things if I was only more like Amy. Know that people don't see your faults. All I see is someone who is wonderful!


You can come hang out at my house. ;)


Love this thoughtful commentary Amy - LOVE IT. I also needed to hear it today. Because ... you know ... I own some pretty powerful emotional self-whips ... and use them far more often than I should. It's good to remember that in the eyes of others, we are wonderful and accomplished and we should see ourselves the way others do.


Our house is always in a state of busy-ness. We have "nests" of stuff growing everywhere, because everything is always in progress, or it gets done and there's not time to put the debris away before moving to the next Thing.

We have some dear friends whose house is always neat as a pin - everything organized and put away, like something out of the pages of Sunset magazine. They have a lot of Things going on, too, but you can't tell it by looking around their house. It's a different mindset, I guess.

One day, their daughter (and our semi-adopted daughter, because she spent as much time at our house as she did at her own) was at our house, baking cookies or something. I apologized for the general state of clutter, and she said something like, "Oh please, don't apologize. I love the piles of stuff. I spend so much time over here because it feels like people really live here."

Here's to cluttered homes. (Raising a toast, in the last clean glass in the cupboard - all the rest are still in the dishwasher, clean, but not put away yet.)

Melanie Bell

Reading these comments, I hope you realize an amazing thing about yourself - that your ability to share your feelings so openly and express them so eloquently helps a lot of women! So many of us are feeling the same way and feeling like we're alone, but reading your blog helps us to realize that we're NOT alone.

As usual, your post really resonates with me. Ten years into my marriage, I'm still comparing myself to the other wives who seem to have it all together - and I don't even know if they really do! I imagine that everyone else can keep a house clean and be perfect in every other way. I have to stop beating myself up like this. Thanks for sharing and for being a good example. :)


I needed this today. Thanks!


oh Amy. I needed to read this too and I am paying attention to the same realization lately. I am not tidy like Katie, nor can I bake a pie like you. But, alas, I have my own sets of goods and bads. And I think you're absolutely right that looking at the positive values of the ones we love is the key. (including ourselves) We all have our own set of magic to offer to the world. And I always remember that there's a specific combination of magic that attracted me to my husband and made me fall in love with him. When I start comparing, I remember that no one else has the exact same combination of magic he does. (just like no one else has mine.)


i've also noticed we're so good at undermining our "goods" because they are ours. They seem insignificant. (maybe second nature.) But other people look up to you and the magic that you are.

Becky K

The best part of this post? When you said you forgive yourself. It brought tears to my eyes. Remember how we felt when we read the story of Don Diego, Ricardo the Priest, and the damaged book. :)

You are amazing!!


I have read this post exactly 7 times today...today is a "but what about Katie!" kind of day for me, not in a house and home sense, but in an education and workplace/career sense. And I need to remember that I am good enough just as I am. And I am accomplished and talented and successful, even if I have different strengths (or resume/qualifications) as the girl in the next cube over, I am doing juuuuust fine.



Wonderful. And really, when you think about it? Everyone has her Katie, including Katie.

You would feel right at home at my house : )


I enjoy reading whatever you write. I have learned that everything is no one is perfect. I can keep an immaculate house, but I am a horrible bear of a woman to live with when it is. We live with a little bit of clutter (maybe a lot...).


... including my post which includes a nonsensical sentence.

I have learned that things are not always as perfect as they appear.

Sarah M.

A wonderful post indeed! I can't possibly thank you enough for writing this. It really hits home in so many ways.

Christa P.

Exactly what I needed today, yesterday and let's be honest-every day. I do this so much and I try to stop myself. I'm you and always wonder what I'm doing wrong that I can't be Katie. It's just who I am. Period.


I neither keep a tidy house nor bake if you are ever feeling really low and need a comparison pick me up ;) Great post.


I’d love some of your tasty pies! Can’t make them at all. I can sing for you. We could have a mean book discussion. Should we do this in your messy house or mine?:)

Adore you. Well thought out and necessary post.

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