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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Comments

wendy

Can I be bold? The reasons you love your part time job seem to me to far outweigh the reasons you fear you are being selfish by not working full time. I would daresay your kids need you home part time way more than they need karate and violin lessons. They will be happier having a mom who takes care of herself and can give more emotionally to them . . . way more than if you're gone and busy and worn out but they get cool lessons. They will also benefit greatly by seeing you pursue your writing dream! I really strongly believe that the great relationship you have with your kids is because you are doing what you are doing. It could not improve if you are gone more and not taking care of yourself. I could elaborate, and will if you want me to say more in person. You are doing wonderful things for your family, Amy! Embrace that!!

Heather H.

I agree with Wendy.

Time is always, always, always more important than money.

But I think I've felt some of the same things. I've rethought my life and my dreams so many times, trying to figure out how to put my family first but not lose my own identity too. It's just hard some days.

Judy

I echo Wendy, Amy-friend. Work full time = more money BUT less time with your family, more stress, less opportunity to develop yourself (which benefits your family by the way), and "extra experiences" for your kids that you have to carefully schedule for (where's the Serendipity in that?) ... selfish by only working part-time? I THINK NOT. How happy are your kids? From what I see, they are pretty darn happy and well-adjusted peoples. I say, don't change a thing!

Jill Broyles

I agree with the other ladies, with one other question. Why is it ridiculous to think you are not a successful writer or will not become the successful writer if you put your mind to it? I say go for the dreams, show the family that risk is beautiful, and realize the dream. You will never know until you try. I read you everyday that you write, and enjoy it. Keep moving forward!! Each day has so many occasions to be proud, happy and thankful. Go Girl!

Janet White

Being happy is a part of an example to set as well.

When I was young, my mom took a job for a few years - she was still able to be home when we got home from school much of the time, the stress on her took its toll. She finally quit and all of us were relieved. She was happier and so were we. Plus, she ended up figuring out how to do more from scratch so she saved almost as much as she would have made working out of the home.

Happiness begets happiness...

Margot/NZ

I also agree with Wendy (sensing a trend here, Amy?) - it's much more important for your kids to have you There, rather than $$$ and you Not There. Especially as the boys get older and enter their 'man cave/grunting' period you need to be there to listen to them when they're ready to talk. If you're fulltime working you are likely to miss that and if you miss those times you'll never get them back.

I've now got no kid at home (he's in a graduate program at university this year and has officially 'left home') and am so grateful I was working part-time through his teen years and could be here when he needed me (much more than any $$$ I might have earned if I worked fulltime).

Andrea b

I agree with Wendy too. And Amy the last thing I would call you is selfish. Your kids are not deprived. They have fashion crew, choir, scouts, mutual, time to play and enjoy being a kid, time with their mom who encourages them to reAd, color, cook, explore, do hOmework, interact as a family. You are far from being selfish you are raising good kids, and honestly when I look at your family I see you working part time becuase you are unselfish and want to raise your kids (and it makes a better mom when you take time for yourself. You are the one who told me that.)

Kary in Colorado

Amy, you are teaching your children a far more important lesson than violin, karate or snazzy vacations could--you are teaching them that it is important for a woman to be happy with herself and that you love to have time with them as well. Money is nice, but they will remember the conversations with you and a mom pursuing her dreams much more than they would remember having an extra car!

michele in la

I could give you many examples and explanations of why it is better for your family to have "you" than anything else. However, I will simply give you the quote my teenage gave. He and my husband had been talking and dreaming about being able to buy a boat and a new RV on and off for quite some time. One time they caught me in just the right mood and I said "that's it - I'm going back to work so y'all can get them". My son immediately brought a halt to everything by responding "***NO*** ... our family would fall apart if mom went back to work!!!". ...and this was from a teenager who could not afford all the things many of his friends had. I can only thank God for giving him the widsom to realize what I provided as Mom was better than what he could purchase.

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