on Drinking

I live in Utah, so it nearly goes without saying that people assume I'm also a Mormon. The assumption is correct: I am LDS. But what is harder to explain is what that really means, being a Mormon who lives in Utah. And not just Utah, but Utah County, which is perhaps the Mormoniest places in Utah. I don't really think about what it means, in fact, until I travel, and then I am reminded of just how different we Mormons are to the world.

Namely what I mean is this: we don't drink alcohol.

Being in Mexico for the past seven days has showed me that the non-drinking thing really is fairly strange. Everywhere we went seemed to be soaked in booze. A large amount of people at the pool and the beach were drunk. When we took our horseback ride on the beach (an amazing day I will blog about later once I can download my pictures), Nathan's horse was named Borracho (the Spanish word for drunk). And when we ordered our margaritas and daiquiris sin alcohol the bartenders and waiters looked at us like we were insane.

This is not me passing judgement. I'm on the liberal side of my Mormon beliefs, and part of that is the knowledge that the world in general isn't going to bend around my opinions. Plus I there's that long adolescent rebellious streak I had, and I could tell you some stories.

But I also couldn't help that my thoughts were influenced by all the drinking around me. I thought of my own wild days and I couldn't connect that part of myself with the groups of adults slurring words and tripping into the pool. I understand drinking as a form of breaking limits and pushing boundaries; I confess that I don't get it when it's just for fun. And I definitely couldn't parse the bunches of happy drunks with my sister, who is an alcoholic and has emptied her life because of it. When does the line get crossed? Why doesn't everyone cross it? Is life happier or easier with alcohol in it?

I don't know.

Because honestly, the drinking doesn't shock me. It doesn't bother me if someone else chooses to do it. This is just my very own confession to the world: I don't understand it. Probably just like the waiter at the little taco shop who asked what kind of beer I wanted and then was perplexed by my answer: no beer, solo agua. We are all of us strange, I suppose, in our own little ways, but is it odd that I'm grateful my strangeness includes not drinking?

Because there's also this: I think I'm too cheap to be a drinker anyway.

Comments

[Pamela K.]

I was raised a Southern Baptist, so I know exactly where you come from. When I first met my German/Catholic in-laws, they looked at me like I had two heads when I said I did not drink. Many of my classmates drank, so peer pressure was really hard in high school. I often would think that it would have been so much easier to grow up where my parents came from, which was a "dry" county in the south. Or in Utah. ;-) But I think that you are up against different types of temptations and peer pressure in those areas, too. Nowadays, I do not care what people think. That is one of the great things about getting older. Can't wait to see your pictures of the trip!

[Kasandra Mathieson]

Loved your last line! I too am too cheap to be a drinker! I'm not a drinker, ever and funny enough have never been tempted! I didn't grow up Mormom and so my family would occasionally have parties, not many and my parents didn't drink a lot either although they both smoked a lot. I remember having a sip of beer once, and then a glass of wine at a family party and thinking it was disgusting and that was it...two drinks. It was actually good to become LDS, then I actually had a reason for why I was not drinking! I loved the Word of Wisdom when I heard it... I think for me it was always about control of what I was doing. When I would see my friends drinking and then not remembering what they had done, I would shudder! Not for me......

[Olivia]

I can relate to your thoughts on people who drink to excess. I haven't yet figured out why people think it's fun to drink so much that they cannot remember the fun they had. While I was teaching, my high school students measured the success of a party by how much they drank and how "wasted" they got. I am a "liberal Lutheran," and I grew up in a home where there was alcohol. I very occasionally drink a glass of wine with my evening meal, but no more than one. My parents taught me the concept of moderation and judgment. Because I have always lived in the community in which I teach and in the same community with the children who went to school with my sons, I have also chosen not to drink in public. I think in some respects I agree with St. Paul who wrote in one of the epistles that we have to be the example for others and that means being careful that our actions do not lead others to stray. I did not start drinking wine with meals until my children were "grown," over the age of sixteen!

Amy, I appreciate so much your thoughts. Thank you for being human with us.

[Isabel]

I second you on the money aspect of it. I honestly think that a percentage of the reason we were given the Word of Wisdom is so that we can use our money wiser. Living in Seattle I see how EVERYONE drinks coffee. Do you know how much a Starbucks coffee is? AT LEAST FOUR DOLLARS. A DAY. Sometimes twice a day. Do the math, it's insane. Let's not even get into how much alcohol is. My dinner bill compared to someone who is drinkings bill is quite different.

What I find so interesting is how (non LDS) adults can drink out in the open and with their parents and family. To me it's something that shouldn't be done, so I always feel like they should have guilt about doing it in front of people. I KNOW this isn't really the case. But I do think that almost any time I see someone drinking.

How was Mexico? AWESOME?!

[heidikins]

I absolutely can understand a glass of wine with dinner (but not wine, because I think it smells nasty), or a drink with a friend...but the getting sloshed off your heels because you can? I don't get it. And the money? Holycrap. No, thank you.

xox

[Vickie]

I'm too scared to be a drinker. I embarrass myself enough without adding alcohol to the mix.

[karen]

I am not religious but just don't drink. I have my reasons, of course but honestly, it's mostly cause I don't enjoy it. It was tough making it through college and some of my twenties but now, nothing fazes me. I never hesitate to tell people i don't drink and I don't get worried about what they might think at all. To me, it's just another bad habit i won't have to break :)

[Donna Jannuzzi]

It certainly is fascinating how some people can practice moderation and others cannot. And then there are those who *choose* not to practice moderation, and I am with you on that, I don't understand it.

My husband and I do occasionally enjoy a beer or glass of wine with our meals, but truthfully, it is very rare. I cannot imagine getting drunk though... I have children to take care of! And yes, I do think it would be setting an extremely poor example.

It is not a problem for us; we are able to have just one beer and then stop. For us it is about enjoying the flavor of our favorite beers with the meal we are having, it is not at all about getting drunk. Hope that makes sense.

Finally, I don't think you should feel strange for not drinking. I think surrounded by alcohol, as you were on your vacation, the difference was probably more pronounced. I know I would not judge someone who told me they didn't drink; it wouldn't be weird or strange to me at all.

[Jamie]

re: they just don't get it

my sister was at a work party a few years ago and they asked her what she wanted to "drink". She had already told people at work that she "didn't drink" and they thought that meant she just didn't get drunk... she had to explain, she really dind't drink alcohol. ever. They really had a hard time understanding that that was a real choice. funny.

I agree with you about the cheap thing! Growing up in a place where EVERYONE I knew (teens) drank and hanging out with them I often had the same thoughts as you as I watched them spend large amounts of their minimum wage $ on booze. I am too cheap. Even if I wasn't mormon, I wouldn't drink just b/c of the $.

Now, I'm so grateful for many other reasons. It's nice to not have one more thing to try to balance in my life. I am grateful it's not even in the equation b/c of my belief system.
What a blessing.

.... now where'd I put those brownies..... :)

[Wendy]

I was raised in a teetotal family and have never understood the appeal of alcohol. I married a man whose brother was an alcohol (died in the throes of his addiction). When we met, he never drank. Now, for his health, he drinks wine and also will have a beer with Mexican or grilled food. I must admit, it worries me because my 7 year old speaks fondly of the time when he is old enough to drink and he bears many similarities in personality to my departed brother-in-law. I'm praying that my husband's casual (never drunken) behavior will not lead to trouble for any of my sons.

[Wendy]

brother was an "alcoholic" not alcohol! ;)