(a few) True Confessions of a Book Snob

I figured out recently that I might come across as a book snob. Perhaps because no one ever read this post about why I'm not really a book snob, per se. I don't think my reading tastes make me better than anyone else. I mean, sure. I like a sort of literary highbrowedness. I like to read stuff that tells a story which stretches my way of thinking and tells it in a way that makes me find a pen so I can underline the beautiful writing.

I also know that there is a wide variety of books because there is an enormous variety in what people need from books. Or even in the qualities they need in order to feel like a book has provided escape from their normal lives. I don't care who else is reading, for example, Fifty Shades of Grey. I know (after reading reviews and talking to people who have read it) that it isn't worth my reading time because it wouldn't give me what I need from a book.

Partly my need for well-written and thought-provoking books comes from the fact that I married a non-reader. While he's smart and intelligent and able to leap tall buildings, Kendell just doesn't get the book thing. In fact, it annoys him to no end to see me sitting around reading a book. Many a tiff has happened from just that circumstance, and as I am as unwilling to see the world from his non-book-reading perspective as he is my books-are-all-I-need point of view, it's just one of those things that's never going to change. But if I'm reading something with literary merit, that's challenging me and making me think, I feel less guilty over the fact that I'd rather sit down and read a book than do almost anything else.

Anyway, I'm feeling all sorts of grouchiness and despair and existential why-isn't-my-life-fabulous defeat tonight and I thought I might write about it but then I read this post by Janssen (who is the only book blogger I read consistently) (you should read it and read the comments, too, which made me laugh and also gasp in surprise because really: I must have read Good Night Moon 12,537 times in my read-to-children days and I never got sick of it) and I decided that instead of having an online pity party (you know...the kind that no one would come to anyway) I'd copy her and write about what I dislike when it comes to reading.

I think you already know that I don't like a book with a predictable ending or oh-so-fortunate plot twists or male characters who are too good to believe. But maybe you should know that even though I love reading and I loved getting my English degree and I adore almost everything that has to do with Literature (read that in a fancy voice), I confess:

I don't like Dickens. I generally like the idea of his books but the execution of the story? Well, I just think it's obvious he was being paid by the word. (There. I said it.)

I didn't fall in love with Shakespeare until my late 20's and I still struggle to understand what the hell is happening.

I return 75% of the books I check out without finishing them. (Usually this is simply a time issue. Or an I-married-an-anti-reader issue, which is the same thing.)

I tried to read Moby-Dick three times and failed.

And when I was supposed to read Middlemarch for one of my university courses? I only made it halfway through because I kept falling asleep.

But there is also this very important confession:

I hate children's books with forced rhymes.

I'd give you an example but really. If I accidentally check one out from the library, I return it the very next day out of principle. Twisting the sentence structure around so as to force a rhyme...gah, that makes me crazy. Or predictable rhymes. Or a way-too-singsongy rhythm. Which is also why I don't dislike Dr. Seuss. I think he gets rhyming exactly right. The made-up words don't bother me, nor do I think they have any negative effect on a kid's ability to learn to read. In fact I think they actually help the reading process move along, because it isn't a memorized word---they have to figure out the made-up word. I think the rhymes are a little bit brilliant sometimes (there are exceptions of course) and the weirdness works for me.

Or maybe I like Dr. Seuss because I don't  remember reading his books as a kid?

I don't know.

I just like him.

What I do know is this: my blog post has failed at being focused and interesting. But at least it wasn't much of a pity party.

Do you have any literary confessions? What do you despite that everyone else seems to love?

Comments

[Emily C.]

I agree with your thoughts on Dickens and laughed when I read them. I'm reading Little Dorrit right now--interesting story but he takes so long to get to the point!

[Bridget]

I am a book snob. I work in a bookstore and I am a book snob. Very bad combo. I have to hold my breath when I sell a romance novel or any of the 50 shades series. I have had Moby Dick on my nightstand for 10 years. I WILL read it someday. I always finish a book. Even if I hate it. This drives my non-fiction reading husband crazy.

[Britt]

I'm a book snob, too, but I can't really tell you all the reasons why - it's so hit and miss. I actually have a half-written post about it. There are a few things I've identified, though: I like really good characters and really good plots. The writing can suck a little if the plot is good, and the plot can suck a little if the characters are really well-developed. I have very little patience for things like adultery, partying, and other irresponsible life choices when they are romanticized. I don't like endless chit-chat, which is one of the reasons I'm not a fan of Jane Austen. I don't like when an author is so great at capturing REAL life and spoils it all with a sci-fi twist (Dan Wells!!!) (I liked Partials, though, just not some of his other work that was so FANTASTIC until...) I have a really hard time with C.S. Lewis (shh... don't tell Amy).

And thus begins my list.

[heidikins]

I consider myself a book snob as well, if I'm going to invest several hours in "doing nothing" it better be for a really well written piece of work. I don't read children's books, so I can't comment there. But I do love Dickens (and Hemingway, and Fitzgerald). My 9th grade English teacher read Great Expectations out loud to us over the course of a month (with a few assigned at-home readings) and I fell absolutely in love with the story. I've read it two or three more times as an adult, and seen the BBC mini-series, and 2 versions of the movie, and like it more and more each time.

Also? I love Shakespeare, but I do have a "cheat book" that details a lot of what is going on and what they mean, and that has made all the difference in the world.

xox

[Vickie]

I'm not a book snob. I don't particularly care to read deep, thought-provoking books (although I do sometimes). I have read a couple of 'bodice-rippers' in the past but don't really care to anymore. I like a variety of genres. I don't always finish books that I start. I can only take so much of what I call 'bad language' but I can take some.
I do enjoy reading and am always interested in recommendations.

[karen]

i totally love Dickens!! Mostly cause of his awesome minor characters. But I've always disliked Hemingway because of his characters. Even his beautiful, simple language couldn't make up for the abhorrant characters, for me! :)

[Becky K]

I've never had any desire to read Moby Dick. That is going to stay that way. My list of never finished books also includes: Anna Karenina, Last of the Mohicans, Grapes of Wrath, Moll Flanders. I've never read a Charles Dickens.

That said, I am a total snob. I don't mind sex or swearing as long as it isn't gratuitous, which is why I don't want to read 50 Shades. I like books that surprise me - I hate it when I can see an ending from a mile away. I'll just skip to the end in that case - I don't appreciate being strung along by a weak story.

[alexa]

I dislike anything with vampires and werewolves in, and I've never managed to finish a Russian novel: by the time I get to the end of the first fifty pages, I've twigged that each character has about three separate names and are not three different people - and then I give up. I'm not reading 50 Shades either. :)

[Lucy]

Is it considered snobbish to like good things or just smart? I think you and all these ladies above are just smart ladies. You recognize what you like and choose to read it. That's smart!

I like Dickens. I was surprised by how funny he is. You know how I yearn for well written humor and as wordy as he is, I find real humor in his characters, their dialogue and description.

I can't read non-fiction. I try to and some I have found to be good but it is always slow going for me. Even worse are the "helpful" books. Parenting books. Life success kind of books (like Dr. Phil or chefs that know the secret to being happy and skinny). I really struggle with LDS fiction and abhor all things knock-off Pride and Prejudice, although I did read Austenland before all the copycats began and found it to be fluffy fun.

I love to read! There is so much variety I think it is wonderful that we can find authors and stories that connect to our personal preferences.

[Maureen]

To be a book snob, you have to behave like a snob, out loud, to others, to make yourself feel superior. Everyone has their own personal taste in books, and that is ok. I will say that you may be a print snob ;), and that is ok too, I know and love several.

I like to read, but not anything that would be considered literature. I like a mystery, I read for the puzzle. If it is really badly written or way to obvious, I don't finish.

My pet peeve with that style of book is when the movie chase scene is written into the book. Don't they know that is the script writers job?

Cute story, my husband likes to read all types of books, he even has a favorite Bronte, but I can never remember which one. He reads a variety of styles at once to keep his interest. He has a kindle and has taken advantage of the low price and portability of the classics. A few summers ago he decided to read War and Peace. Every time I walked by him he would pause, look up and say, "War and Peace is long." My favorite part of that exchange was that I never could tell how far into it he was. That quote and photos of him reading his kindle made for a cute scrapbook page.