Looking Backward Before I Turn Around

Most of Monday we spent taking down the Christmas decorations. I don't love this part of the year, as it always makes me melancholy: I love my Christmas things, and I miss the cozy feeling they give my house, and putting them away means yet another Christmas has passed away. Maybe because really, 2012's December was just a good one, but my usual way of cheering myself up on de-Christmasing day didn't work. Usually, as I'm putting away ornaments and carefully bubble wrapping nativities and making sure I found every. last. holiday towel, I perk up a little bit by imagining what I might be like in 11 months from now, when I get the decorations out again. What will I accomplish over the year? How will I change?

But it didn't work this year. Instead, I felt like I'd already let my end-of-November-2013 self down. Like I'll get there and she'll say, as she's unwrapping nativities and getting ornaments out of boxes, here it is, another year almost over, and everything is the same. I didn't accomplish much. Which of course says quite a bit about  how I feel about my 2012 accomplishments...nothing extraordinary.

I'm still a little bit blue I think.

I was talking to Kendell about this later that night, and he said "but you accomplished a lot last year!" and I said "what?" and he said, "well, you fed and clothed and kept on track the kids" and I felt a little glimmer of lightness so I said "what else?" and he said "you ran a lot." And then I decided not to keep asking because what if he ran out of things to say?

So I decided to put it all in a blog post. Not in a braggy way, but just to remind myself that 2012 wasn't a total wash. A year in review of sorts, I suppose, to give me something to build on for January:

• washed approx. 260 loads of laundry
• cooked close to 300 dinners
• took 2 vacations wherein no one was lost, kidnapped, drowned, or injured
• 11 trips to the dentist (Jake's is today)
• approx. 5000 photographs
• got Haley signed up for college
• lived two months without eating sugar
• wore all black for an entire month
• discovered a new favorite restaurant
• helped Kendell, Haley, Jake, Nathan, and Kaleb with homework
• ran approx. 450 miles
• made 114 scrapbook layouts
• taught one Big Picture class
• wrote an eZine article for Ella
• wrote 3 book reviews for the Provo-Orem Word, two of which were nominated for reader's favorites
• worked approx. 1000 hours at the library
• went on 6 hikes
• read 20-ish books
• ran 2 half marathons, one 5k, and 1 Ragnar relay
• put in 40 volunteer hours at Kaleb & Nathan's school
• made 8 baby quilts as gifts
• wrote eleven Write Saturdays and hosted the blog on 2 different weeks for WCS

And even though there are many other goals I didn't accomplish ("publish something" being the biggest one), I suppose I need to get over my blueness and realize I did at least do something!

How as your 2012?

Comments

[Britt]

450 miles!!!

I think I ran about 20 yards this year! Errr.... last year.

Looks like you accomplished a lot of great things in 2012!

[Vickie]

Great accomplishments!

[Lucy]

I felt totally sad on Christmas Day when all the festivity was over. I haven't pinned down the exact cause but reading about your diagnosis, I think I may have some similar feelings.

I think you are fabulous and am so glad to see you giving yourself the credit for the many amazing things you do. That is a lot of laundry. Go you!

[Wendy]

I just sent you an email . . . and now I find this post makes my email all the more relevant.

You absolutely accomplished a lot this year. Maybe I should do the same sort of list. My year feels like a lot of survival and not a lot of "doing."

I love taking down Christmas, btw. I like how a less crowded living room feels, and the symbolism of starting anew that comes with putting away Christmas and focusing on the new year. It seemed dh suggested I wait until after Dec 26th this year. The tree lasted until the 28th. I still have a Christmas towel or two out. :)

Love you!

[Brenda]

Congrats on all the accomplishments! Enjoy the rest of this school year and you will survive sending your oldest off to college (I have 2 now in and 1 still at home) it won't be easy and it will be harder on you but you will survive and it will all be good! (promise!)

[Wendy]

Hubby is starting to complain about the trees (all 5 of them) still being up and lit. He offered to have his mother help me dismantle everything while she was here for 5 days over New Year's. I heartily opposed the idea. I will take it down on the first day the kids are back in school. There is something comforting to me in leaving it up into the first week of the new year (plus it takes so long to get out, might as well enjoy it for a bit longer). Completely get your sadness. Best blessings to you in 2013 and may you accomplish all that you desire!