September was a hard month for me. I got a cold right at the beginning of the month and it zapped every ounce of my energy. And then I lost all of my running motivation. Most mornings, instead of running I just went back to bed after the kids went to school. I tried…but I just had nothing.
For whatever reason, sometime on Wednesday of last week, the fog cleared. I started feeling like I had energy again, and excitement to get outside and run. So on Thursday, I finally hit the trail again, and it felt amazing. I really hope this upswing is a permanent change, because I don’t like myself when I’m feeling so blue and sluggish.
Last week was also a week of sewing. One of my nieces is having a baby, so I needed to make a gift. Three different trips to different fabric stores and I had three different projects to work on. I finished two of them, and got the third one entirely cut out. And I was re-motivated to dig out my pink-and-black half-square triangle project from last winter. Maybe it was the playing with fabric that helped me feel better???
Nathan has entered the super-busy life of a senior. ACT prep, big art projects, volleyball practice, work, homework, time with his girlfriend, and napping when he can fit it in. For his AP art class, they have to do a year-long concentration where they focus on one topic. He’s chosen women in Greek mythology (he is in love with the Myths & Legends podcast), so last week he was drawing Arachne and Athena. His first piece turned out fantastic! Plus…it was kind of, I don’t know. “Cool” isn’t exactly the right word. But it is something to have a hurricane Nate kicking around!
I got to see Jake this week. He’s getting an intense treatment for warts on his hands…so we meet up at the dermatologist every two weeks or so. I’m not glad he got such a bad infection, but I am glad for a reason to see him. He seemed happy and relaxed this week, which made me feel happy and relaxed too. No Haley sightings, but holy cow. When I woke up to the news of the Las Vegas shooting, my first reaction was “thank God she doesn’t like country music.” She’s gone to many concerts in Vegas…maybe it is selfish of me when so many mothers DID lose their children in that awful shooting (Oh how my heart hearts for those moms who lost their kids). But I’m so glad she’s safe and wasn’t there.
This week I really realized just how TWELVE Kaleb is. He’s moody…obnoxious one second, sad the next. He loves seventh grade and then he hates it. I’m pretty sure there’s stuff going on he’s not telling me about. I’m trying to be present and welcoming to any kind of discussion he’s willing to have. But man. Junior high is so hard on kids. WHY does it have to be so hard? And why does their brain insist on making it harder for them by keeping secrets? I keep telling him to remember that his parents aren’t the enemy…we’re on his side. (Meanwhile though, my brain—and my heart—everything in me is freaking out because when did this happen? He was my baby for so long. And now he’s not.)
Kendell had something big happen this week. Enormous, actually. But I can’t quite talk about it yet. So...until I can, I will say that the big thing is not the fact that we planned another trip to New York this week. Heading there in November.
On Saturday I went to the baby shower I made the quilt for. I only had a little while to be there, because I went on my lunch hour, but it just made me happy. Ever since I found that bread bag of photos, I’ve been thinking about family connections. There is one photo in the bag, a family pic from the Christmas I was a baby, and my dad looks exactly like Jake. Well, “exactly,” if Jake had a rounder face and a black handlebar 1970s mustache, but still. His eyes and mouth are the same. And it just made me think, about my dad and my grandparents and my cousins and my aunts and uncles and my kids and my nieces and nephews and greats. And my future grandkids. None of us is identical, we all have different traits and interests and body shapes and lives. But we also have connections and similarities, places where our lives overlap. I wish my extended family was closer, especially my cousins, but I don’t know how to make that happen. But I can strengthen my relationships with the people who care about me and who I care about.
So that’s why this is my favorite picture from last week:
Even though I wish there were others in it. Sometimes I feel like a great big lonely stretch is headed my way, when I will need to learn to embrace doing things by myself. It feels like such a strong prompting that I can’t ignore it. But this day felt like the opposite of that. Or an addendum: you might feel alone at times, but sometimes other people will surround you. I love all of these women—my mom, two of my sisters, and my nieces. They are amazing in different ways and add so much to my life, and I am proud of each of them. And blessed to have relationships with them.