Back when my dad was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, one of my initial impulses was this pervasive desire to record more of my life. I’ve always kept a journal, of course, but up until then I’d never done a scrapbook layout about myself. Hundreds and hundreds for my kids? Of course. Put pairing photos, words, and pretty stuff just for me seemed sort of...redundant, maybe. (Who would want to read them?) Or selfish. (Because isn’t there a never-ending supply of photos of my kids to scrap? Don’t I have a responsibility to write down what they won’t remember?) But as I watched bits and pieces of Dad fall away, I couldn’t stop thinking: what if that happens to me? I need to have my memories recorded, too.
That’s when the scrapbooking muse started tickling my creativity bone. I bought an album just for me and made a few layouts—about myself. I confess: it does feel a little weird. But even three years later, it still feels important. At least every six months or so, I find a photo of myself (again; something highly uncomfortable, handing the camera over to someone else and actually being in the picture) and write journaling that focuses on my life right now. Some layouts read like a calendar, others like short stories. But I like getting down the little pieces and parts that combine to form my dreams, anxieties, desires, obsessions, and habits.
So when Stacy J. told me about her "present-moment" scrapbooking challenge, I was necessarily on board. While it feels strange, initially, focusing on yourself for a bit causes this unexpected reaction: you start to pay attention to your now even more. You realize that you won’t always be worrying over _____________, which puts it in perspective; you won’t always be experiencing _______________, which helps you savor it. You see that your life right this moment is extraordinary and special. Time you won’t ever get to revisit, experiences you’ll remember as the way things used to be—and suddenly you see your own value, the stuff that is inherent in you no matter what your title (mom, wife, employee, whatever).
So! Here’s the challenge:
- Sometime in the next two weeks, snap ten different photos of your life right now. Try to capture both the unique and the mundane. One must be a photo of you! (That’s not on the original challenge, by the way, but I’m being bossy and adding it.)
- Make a little scrapbook using your pictures. When I say "little" I mean: low stress.
- Keep it in your purse always. For one entire year!
- Whenever you see your little book, open it up and look at it.
- On October first, 2009, make an entire layout about the experience. (I’ll remind you!)
If you don’t scrapbook, that’s OK. Just try taking the ten pictures and writing about them, and then next year you can revisit them.
Two things to get you started:
1. Not sure where to get a "little" scrapbook? The first 20 people who leave me a comment about something they love in their life right now will get a little Bazzill album in the mail!
2. Here are my ten photos, with a few comments (hello, like I could post photos without also writing about them!), just to give you some ideas. I’ll post my little album in a few days. (I’m slightly embarrassed to be posting straight-out-of-the-camera photos, but we’re in the middle of a computer upgrade right now, and my version of Photoshop is just not happy with Vista!)
These kids! Being a wooth makes me want to become a better mom. They are all growing up and I feel like I'm in this weird stage---the dreaded post-baby days. I want them to have an unshakeable knowledge of how much I love them. A quick I-love-this about each of them: Haley's love of photo shoots, whether they involve her or one of her friends; Jake getting so involved in his Grandpa Kent's Edgar Rice Burroughs books (Tarzan etc); Nathan's desire to go to Target almost every day, just so he can look at all the swords and other grizzy weapons that crowd the shelves for Halloween; Kaleb's recent need to say "Mom? I love you, Mom!" and "Mom? What is your name again?" and then he laughs and says "oh yeah" when I tell him, as if he had forgotten. Whenever I take a picture of any of them, we have to start with a silly face, and then they'll smile.
Kendell is almost recuperated from his surgery. "Almost" meaning his right hip still hurts, and he's not 100%, but he is getting there. I'm still giving him nearly-every-night leg-and-scar massages. Things are slowly starting to return to normal around here!
I know that doesn't look like a photo of my dad, but it represents him. I still haven't brought myself to take a photo of him at his rest home, but I took this after we visited him for the first time. I left that home knowing that my dad doesn't know who I am---a strange feeling. We went for a short little hike in Rock Canyon after we visited him, and as I walked in the mountains I was filled with this feeling I am still struggling to explain---an even-stranger peace. I felt like I should try to savor and appreciate in his stead, as if me just enjoying my own life would be enough for him.
Fall is here! The leaves on the mountains make me want to go hiking. So far we've done a bit of Dry Canyon, Rock Canyon, and Payson Canyon. The Halloween decorations are up, the kids are in serious costume decision-making process, and I am loving all the color everywhere. I love, love, love the fall. Did I mention it's my favorite?
I'm an idiot. I've been training for my half-marathon. But I neglected to actually sign up for it. Now it's too late: it's full. DANG. But, I am still in love with running. I got new shoes a few weeks ago and my feet are much happier! I run anywhere from 35-50 minutes. Uphill is still my favorite!
Working at the library is having a serious impact on my piles of books. Translation: there are more piles. I seem to find something else I am dying to read every time I shelf read. I just finished Life of Pi and now I'm trying to decide what to read next; I have 18 items checked out!
One of my favorite fall things: the way the light is colored, and how it falls around and through the last of the flowers. I still have some roses blooming, a bunch of fushia-colored flowers I don't know the name of, and a few zinnias. I'm starting the fall garden clean out, digging out the spent sunflowers and trimming off perennials.
Creative projects are overtaking my desk. I'm about one-third the way through an autumn-colored rag quilt, and I've got flannel lined up for Christmas gifts, and another Christmas quilt I am dying to make. New BP class, various scrapbook layouts, a craft project for the young women. I want more time to work on everything!
Financial crisis, global warming, hurricanes, wild fires, nuclear weapons in Korea: seems like it is always bad news. But I still try to read the newspaper most days, even if it's just the headlines. I never miss the obituary pages, and the kids have discovered the comics page.
Haley took this picture of me in Dry Canyon. I am tempted to make a snide comment about my high forehead but instead I will say: I am happy in the mountains and I'm grateful to live near them.
You can also blog about this. Send the idea to your blogging friends—challenge your readers, too. Tons of other scrapbookers are blogging about it today, in fact—check out Stacy's blog for a list of links!