The English Geek

Randomalities: Last Day of September

• It's raining right now. Snowing in the mountains. It might even snow in the valley later today. I can't believe I'm writing this, but everyone cross your fingers in hopes of no snow! There are too many leaves left on the trees and my flowering plum, especially, can't take it. There are still apples in the trees and pumpkins in the fields. No snow!
• A conversation this morning: "I love the rain. It makes me so happy," said Nathan. "Not me," said Jake. "Rain makes me sad." I thought about explaining that I love the rain because it makes me sad---a combination of both of their feelings---but it seemed too complicated.
• Another conversation in the car this morning, this one between Kaleb and his cousin Jace, who comes to our house before preschool some mornings. "Moms! Moms are just great!" Kaleb said, completely out of the blue, and I don't think he thought I was listening. "I love my mom so much. Do you love your mommy, Jace?" "Yes!" he replied. "I love her a lot." "When I really love my mommy is when I call her mommy," Kaleb continued. "When I don't love her as much I only call her mom." Jace had no comment.
• About three months ago, Kendell got a wild hair to organize the bookshelf where we keep our movies. He pulled out all the Disney VHS movies because we don't have a VCR hooked up to a TV anymore. They've sat in plastic bags underneath the sofa table in my front room ever since then. (Lovely decorating skills I tell you!) We can't decide what to do with them. Part of me is thinking "just donate them to the library," but then I find myself thinking. Remember how hard it used to be to get ahold of Disney movies? You could only buy each one for the space of like, a month, and then it was gone again. I worked hard to find some of those movies! And how can I get rid of, say, Winnie the Pooh, which was Haley's favorite movie in the entire world? She'd carry it around with her, tucked into her little blue purse. On the other hand, I don't really want to store them all. So there they sit, and I refuse to get out my Halloween decorations until we've done something with them. Tell me: What did you do with your VHS tapes?
• Can you stand one more Kaleb conversation? He's been whining quite a bit lately, and I am working on not giving him what he wants if he asks in a whine. A few nights ago, he whined for me to go get his white blanky for him. "I won't get it if you ask me like that," I said sternly. He took a deep breath, sat up in bed, and said, "OK then. Go look around in all the rooms of all the house until you find my white blanky. Please." I don't think he was being sarcastic...
• I think that sleeping when it's raining is always the best sleep. Even when the thunder wakes me up, I still sleep well. Last night's thunder was so loud I got out of bed at 4:00 a.m. to stand on the back porch and listen to it. I put a load of laundry in before I went back to bed.
• One thing that says "fall's here!": all-you-can-eat shrimp at Red Lobster. Don't get me wrong, though. I think seafood in general is disgusting and anything in the crab/lobster/shrimp realm disgusting and horrifying. I mean: you're eating sea bugs. Gross. Luckily they have a steak I like, and the Red Lobster mashed potatoes are my favorite. We went last night with Kendell's sister Melissa and her husband. I didn't have all-you-can-eat shrimp, of course. But I did get seven refills on my drink. Whooooops.

First Day of Fall: A Photo Essay

Blackberry Jam

Pumpkin muffins, plus new orange & cream plates

 Leftovers from last fall

new Pretty Spot in my kitchen

Kitchen table

My fall rag quilt, usually in the front room, but easier to photograph in a tree

 Blurry on purpose

Random Thoughts While Mowing the Lawn

• Our new governor in Utah might be the biggest moron imaginable. A quote from this morning’s paper about the conference on the environment he’s planning: "Utah Gov. Gary Herbert says he will host the first "legitimate" debate about whether humans contribute to global warming later this year." Who needs scientists to hold legitimate discussions on global warming when we’ve got Utah’s govenor coming to the rescue? Good to know someone can make it legitimate. The thing that makes me crazy about this is the continuing "debate." Maybe next we could "debate" whether the world is still round.
• Think my neighbors can hear me grumbling to myself about politics and the environment over the roar if the lawnmower?
• Is it a contradiction to be worrying about the environment while I mow my lawn with a gas-powered mower?
• Even more important: can the neighbors hear me singing over the roar of the mower? (I was listening to old U2 on my MP3 player and cannot resist crooning along, even though my singing "voice" is more of a dog howl. I listened to "In God’s Country" three times in a row.)
• I am a really slow lawn mower
• Wish that blister I got from hiking Rock Canyon didn’t hurt because I don’t dare to go running until it goes away.
• Will I be ready for my next half marathon?
• Must remember to rotate the laundry as soon as I finish the lawn.

Better get off the blog and get that done!

Oddities,

just because maybe if you try hard enough sarcasm trumps sadness:

1. Last week I cleaned out my closet and discovered that I own 14 black tops. That doesn't count sweaters. The kicker: I know that, the next time I am at a clothing store and faced with the "I love this shirt, but what color should I get?" decision, I will more than likely buy the black one.

What is wrong with me?

2. Check out this totally cool website: www.gnooks.com

You put in a favorite author and it comes up with a floating web of other authors you might like. The names that are closest in the web are the authors you might like the most. Or maybe that you're most likely to also like. Note that this is other authors you might like, not that are necessarily similar. For example, when I put in Margaret Atwood (because you know she's my favorite), the closest name is Barbara Kingsolver. I wouldn't call them similar, really. But I do like them both. When you click on another name in the web, it'll bring you to a web of authors connected to that name. Endless fun! Maybe, though, only if you're a librarian? I don't know. Do YOU think it's nifty, like I do?

3. I used to subscribe to the New Yorker, much to my husband's annoyance. (He's hardly a fan of any magazine subscription, but one that has movie listings for New York City? Why in hell's name would we need that?) I stopped in 2001 when my subscription expired, because that was the Horrible Year. I didn't miss it, except for the poems. Now I take a quick glance at them when we get a new copy in at the library, but then I feel guilty for glancing through magazines on work time.

My appreciation of The New Yorker has of necessity dwindled.

Still, tonight I read it while I was on my break. And I came upon this little funny about sunscreen, which might only be funny to me, and, fair warning: it does have the F word and other inappropriate things. It still made me laugh. Maybe because last week, when I took the kids to the water park, Haley's friend actually did use SPF 100. And she still got sunburned. Not that her sunburn is funny, of course, but...well, enough apologies. Read, or don't read.

4. I should redeem myself. A melancholy poem from the same issue, about ghosts. My favorite bit: a front/for that place you only ever find in dreams, // its undrinkable rivers, its scrubland of snarls and hooks,/ horizons gone askew." You should read it. Or maybe not, if you don't like poems. Whatever. I'm still wondering if you'll continue to love me after reading the sunscreen bit.

5. I have decided that in October I want to read a few scary books. But well-written scary books, and not stupid-scary (I wasn't ever, for example, a fan of Friday the Thirteenth or, ummmmm...that kind of thing), but also not the other extreme, which is The Exorsist scary. Just...well, like, the last scary novel I read was The Historian. So far, my literary-scary novels are Ysabel by Guy Gavriel Kay, More Than You Know by Beth Gutcheon, and The Heretic's Daughter by Kathleen Kent. Plus one other book that was a romance with ghosts, only I can't remember the title. At any rate: what's YOUR favorite scary, non-stupid, non-way-too-scary novel?

January Randomalities

Just a list of some random stuff I've been meaning to get down in words, just because:

• Since starting Primary this month, Kaleb has started singing more. He walks around the house singing random stuff, so much so that sometimes his cute singing becomes background noise. Yesterday he was singing while I was cleaning the kitchen, the same thing over and over. I finally started paying attention, and these were his lyrics: "the rains came down and the flowers came up, the rains came down and the flowers came up, the rains came down and the flowers came up and the house in the dirt went away."
• I took the kids to the dentist last week. Holy cow do I have dentist issues. A week before the appointment I start having dreams about teeth---usually, dreams about teeth that are all falling out, or rotting away. It's been a little bit better since we found a dentist who doesn't put having cavities on the same level as, say, having an affair, but I still don't like going to the dentist. This time? A dental miracle: not one cavity. I couldn't believe it. I was especially worried about Kaleb, because he's not the most cooperative kid when it comes to brushing teeth. For awhile, when he was younger, I'd have to do this straight jacket sort of hold just to swipe around in there a few times, with him screaming like I was murdering him. We do have to go back in next week for my and Kendell's appointments, and for sealants, but still: what a relief.
• One of my biggest fears is smelling weird, so I'm always sniffing clothes. I've not been happy with our clean laundry lately; it just smells weird. I've taken to putting vinegar in every load, and using liquid Oxyclean, and generally just obsessing about laundry. I don't know why it took so long to dawn on me that it's the laundry detergent. Let's just say that the Costco store brand? Does not work as well as Tide, despite what Kendell's friend's wife swears by. It doesn't really have that clean-laundry scent. In fact, I just now took a deep sniff of it and can say that I think it smells just like a package of berries that's been sitting in the fridge for too long---a fridge that also has a slight onion-and-fish scent. I now have a testimony of Tide. Anyone want a ginormous, only-half-used jug of Kirkland detergent???
• Where is my Scott Kelby photoshop book? I have torn my computer room apart, looking for it. Did you take it? ;) I'm really, really, really wanting to upgrade to the newest version anyway; my version is so old it doesn't even have a number, just the CS part.
• Speaking of "where's my," I can't find my work bag. I'm 99.9% certain I didn't leave it at work (but am 100% too embarrassed to call and ask; I'll just check tomorrow night) and it is not in my house or my car. I have a sick feeling it might have been stolen. If so, the thieves got away with last year's planner, including some expired coupons, a collection of Burt's Bees chapsticks (can't get enough of the pomegranate Burt's Bees), my favorite sunglasses for running, and about ten library books. DANG. I really hope I did leave it at work. I'd miss my sunglasses.
• I've been thinking a lot, lately, about blogs in general, and Internet friendships, and a few people who have let me down. Why do I keep reading & commenting on the blogs of old friends who never read or comment on mine? And why does that bother me---I'm not keeping a blog for the comments, right? But then...why is it that I'm keeping a blog? Kendell asks me that all the time, which generally sends me in a downward shame spiral over the fact that I don't go out and do much with real, live friends anymore. Why am I isolating myself? Are the Blog Friendships I have real enough to combat loneliness? Probably not, especially as I learn more about the nature of blog friendships. They're real, of course, and good, and I cherish them. But are they enough?

Randomalities to Catch You Up

Because I know you are all sitting around wondering "what's up with Amy?"

1. Four Words I Love to Hear: have you lost weight? Why, yes I have! Only a little bit, but it is a start. Apparently all those months I spent struggling with exercising and eating healthy but not losing any weight? Hampered by a sluggish thyroid and unhappy adrenal glands. Once I started on my meds, it has finally started coming off.

2. Five Words I am Puzzled By: you're looking very librarianish today. My sister-in-law told me that last week when I dropped Kaleb off at her house so I could go to work. OK...I did have my hair pulled back in a bun-ish sort of pony tail. And, I did have my glasses on. But still, I'm puzzled...is that a compliment? Or a sort of back-handed jab? Or maybe just a casual observation? I'm left wondering if I also looked spinsterish. Or oldish, wrinkledish, or used-up-ish.

3. It's Not Here Yet, But it is Starting to Make its Way. Yesterday morning when I went for my run, there was a distinctly fall-is-coming feel to the air. It was cooler, and breezy, and the sunlight had a slightly different tone. Of course, we'll still have plenty of scorching-hot days. It's still summer. But I am content in knowing that my favorite season is right around the corner.

4. Alicia Sacramone. Oh, holy cow do I feel for this girl. (If you don't know who I'm talking about, she's the American gymnast who fell on beam and on floor last night, during the team championship.) The furious body language she was screaming during her beam routine (after her fall), the look on her face, that stoic attempt to keep the tears back: this brought back some fierce memories for me. Messing up for your own medal is one thing, but losing it for the team is entirely Other. I'm glad for her sake that even if they'd not had to count her falls, they still would have taken the silver. Still, she must have felt horrid.

5. Speaking of Olympic Gymnastics. I’m with Bela Karoli on this one: there’s no way all of those Chinese gymnasts are anywhere close to 16. And, like he said (in case you couldn’t translate his thick Romanian accent), the point isn’t to cast any doubt upon their performance (which was maddingly excellent) but that the Chinese government is cheating simply by dint of breaking the rules. What really annoys me the most out of the whole controversy is the original idea, "the younger the better." I personally prefer watching the older girls perform (OK, there’s no way to write that without sounding weird) because their maturity gives the sport a sense of depth. Of course, I was once Officially Too Old to be a Good Gymnast. Maybe I’m still bitter.

6. The Recuperation. Kendell’s, that is. It’s coming along fairly nicely. Slow progress, but that’s what we expected. He mostly just lies around in bed, with occasional walks around the neighborhood, showing off his groovy white compression socks. My patience has managed to remain intact.

Randomalities #5

1. Lucy was right: I absolutely loathe and detest the novel Emma. And for exactly Lucy's reason: Emma bugs me. It bothers me that she is so certain she knows what is good for everyone else's life. Maybe I am just a little bit jealous of her confidence? Not sure. I do know that I won't ever read Emma again, unless I am forced to by means of a school assignment. I'd rather read the manual that came with the dishwasher. However, all your comments have inspired me to give the BBC P&P another try. And now I'm wanting to re-read the other Austen novels. Except for Emma, of course. And, dare I admit I've never read Northanger Abbey? I think I need to!
2. Dear Pilates Substitute Instructor (the one who failed to show up to teach this morning): Do you realize the daycare gymnastics I go through to get to this class? The one you didn't bother coming to? A cranky two year old and several neighbors are involved, not to mention getting everyone up early. I already feel guilty for imposing my pilates needs onto my neighbors. Now I am having a hard time forgiving you. I really needed some good ab work this morning.
3. Have I ever mentioned that I am not a dog person? I am certain I have. So, a few days ago, I was sitting in a drive through lane, waiting for my food. The lady in the car in front of me had two dogs with her. One was enormous and sat in the front seat just like a passenger---I think the seat belt was involved. The other, a medium-sized dog, was sitting in the back seat, occasionally sticking his head out the window and barking. Just before we got to the front, that smaller dog stuck his head out the window again---and hacked up something unforgivably moist and disgusting that spattered onto the cement. Gross.
4. Afternoon cravings are impossible for me to overcome. I've finally gotten in the habit of not eating or snacking at all past 8:00 p.m. And I do great in the morning---a protein shake and an occasional Luna bar get me through past lunch time. But once Kaleb is napping and the delicious, peaceful afternoon is here? All I want to do is EAT. Lunch is not enough. I want dessert, too. Like, right now. No one is here but me and the sleeping baby, and I AM BAKING BROWNIES. I read once (well...I've read several times) that sugar is a harder addiction to overcome than any other drug. In my case this is proving to be true. Maybe I should just take up smoking crack? Because in this scenario it seems like it might be the lesser of two evils.
5. Have I ever mentioned that one of my favorite-ever novel/movies is Cold Mountain? It's one of those rare stories when the movie is just as good as the book. I caught a snippet of it today on the USA channel---the part where Inmann meets up with Sara, the country girl (played by Natalie Portman) who's living alone with her baby. I immediately started crying. I think I love this story so much because it's a Civil War story without being just about the Civil War. Battlefield scenes in movies tend to bore me. Here, you get the story of living through the war. I think I want to re-read this book, too.
6. I currently have 18 books checked out for myself from the library. Seven of them are due on Saturday. And I am two-thirds the way through one of them. Plus, did you notice all those books I now want to re-read? Sigh. I wish my life had room for a little bit more reading time. Other than that which I find behind the closed bathroom door, of course. That's about the only place any reading's been happening lately. Hmmm...TMI?
7. I am generally not an American Idol fan. Kendell watches it, though, and sometimes I'll check out a few singers. I'm always untenably hopeful during 80's week, though. I've got ridiculous fantasies about someone belting out a great rendition of, say, "Love is a Stranger" by the Eurythmics, or maybe an acoustic version of Depeche Mode's "Dressed in Black." So, I tuned in this week, with my ridiculous high hopes for an 80's week I could relate to. I was a little disappointed, but I did like the girl who sang "Love is a Battlefield." And I absolutely love Amanda (Kendell calls her "skunk hair") who, even though she's lacking a bit in having an actual emotional response, is at least not a cookie-cutter singer like the rest of them seem to be. I was annoyed at the girls who sang Whitney Houston songs, as they seemed to be predictable choices. But. The guy who did the Lionel Richie song? GREAT JOB! While he was singing, I asked Kendell who originally sang the song. Neither of us could remember, but I was certain it was some hard-rock, big-hair band. Transforming Lionel Ritchie into a big-hair-band-esque performance is a great feat! And, I'm just the tiniest bit in love with the guy who sang "Don't You Forget About Me." He's lovely. However---is it just me, or was Randy Jackson suggesting that INXS sang that song? He did compare the guy to Michael Hutchence. Does he not know that Simple Minds sang that song???
8. My stupid burn is finally starting to get better. Like, I can walk around without a band aid on and not feel like a freak. Well, anymore freaky than I normally feel. But it is driving me batty, as the skin is itchy and tight. I'm layering on various ointments and hoping for the best.

Anyway. I hear the dulcet tones of the stove timer. I must go get my sugar fix...

Randomalities, Christmas-Style

Yesterday, we got another beautiful snowstorm. My mom called me this morning to ask if I was satisfied with our snow---she hates snow, and I'm the polar opposite, always wishing for more and getting anxious when it's not around. I'm nearly satisfied. Another, say, five inches would have had me a very happy snow-lover. But I am thrilled that we've had two snow storms in two weekends, and even though there's a writing challenge coming up next, I wanted to just record a few things from this weekend that connect, somehow, to the snow.

• There was so much snow on our roof that the Dish couldn't receive a signal, and someone had borrowed Kendell's ladders, so he couldn't get up on the roof. He came up with a genius solution: he filled one of those giant, soaker-style water guns with hot water and squirted the snow off the dish. Brilliant! He did it last night and then again this morning; the second time around, Jake helped him, and I could hear them laughing outside while they worked in the snow. I hope he remembers that good moment with his dad.
• Although the roads were slickery, we drove to Salt Lake City last night, so Kendell could put up his sister Melissa's Christmas lights and I could go to dinner and a movie with my friend Chris who lives up there, too. I so needed a girl's night out. We saw Dan in Real Life and it was so good I forgot to open the chocolate I brought in my purse. Then we drove around in the snow for a bit, laughing and talking and laughing and talking.
• Haley picking her way down the street, wearing flip flops despite the cold, in front of Melissa's house, looking at the snowy midnight landscape, talking to me about the sky.
• This morning, I went outside to take a few photos of the snow. Kaleb came with me, and I wanted him to stay on the porch. Of course, he's two, and he was having none of that, so he went carefully down the stairs and started running through the snow---in bare feet. He ran for a bit, smiling, and then he stopped, with a surprised look on his face. He started high-stepping through the snow, like a cat with tape on her paws, and said "Mom! Snow needs shoes!"

And with that...now I'll post the writing challenge. Didn't want to forget those things!

Randomalities #3

I'm certain that everyone is feeling as frantically busy as I do right now...but I need a few minutes of downtime RIGHT NOW, so I'm blogging, despite feeling frantic. A few randomalities:

1. Don't fool yourself. Even though you've put the bottle of fabric softener on the top of your dryer for the past 2+ years, eventually the wild spinning of the washing machine will knock it off. Especially if it's a brand new container. There'll be fabric softener everywhere (I kept thinking, cleaning it up, of a saying my mom uses: from hell to breakfast. I'm not sure why those two things work in this metaphor, but they do) and you'll use almost an entire roll of paper towels cleaning it up. And you'll have to re-wash everything clean that was waiting to be folded. Try to giggle rather than have a mental breakdown if this happens to you.
2. Cream of wheat, with fresh raspberries and cream, makes everything feel better. Even if you smell like Snuggle.
3. I need to stop obsessing over the Thanksgiving pies. I've started dreaming apple pies. Why am I so weird? I think I'll be making them tonight instead of in the morning, just so I can get a good night's sleep.
4. Ridiculously, geekily excited about this announcement: Kristen Stewart to play Bella in Twilight (the movie). I think she is a PERFECT Bella. Not traditionally gorgeous but pretty in her own way, and just...perfect. I've loved her since I saw Speak (a movie I liked almost as much as the novel).
5. We had Nathan's grandmas-and-grandpas birthday dinner on Sunday night. I made the best carrot cake I've ever made, even if it was disconcerting to have blue cream-cheese frosting. After trying several recipes from friends, the one I used on Sunday was the best---right from the Betty Crocker cookbook. So much for trying to be fancy!
6. I did the official last lawn mow on Monday. Mostly it was vacuuming up leaves and getting covered in leaf dust. I can't believe how dusty it was! I'm ready for some snow!
7. Don't let me forget: I need to stop by my sister Suzette's house to get her enormous casserole dish. (The kind they use at buffets.) I'm also in charge of green bean casserole tomorrow, and it'll be much easier to use her big pan!
8. Do Reese's PB cups count as nutrition? 'Cause that's what I've eaten today: one peanut butter cup. I'm not usually this disciplined! ;)
9. I was feeling all proud of myself last night for not needing to go to the grocery store today. Then I reviewed my list this morning and realized I forgot: plastic cups, sparkling cider, lemons, and apples. Who forgets to buy apples when she's making apple pie? Just me! So, I'm off to the grocery store on the worst day in the world to grocery shop.

I hope you have a fabulous Thanksgiving! Cross your fingers that my pies are appropriately flaky & delicious!

Randomalities #2: Photos

Instead of a lot of writing, some pictures from the past few weeks, with captions!

Haley & Jake have both started their braces. I'm fairly freaked out about adding another bill into our already-stretched-tight budget, but it was time. We'll figure it out somehow. So now we've entered the world of brackets and bands and wires. Haley has been begging me to get out the book that my orthodontist gave me back when I had braces, with the before,during, and after photos. Must dig it out from the closet under the stairs!

October 21, 2007---first snow in the valley, piled up on my catalpa.

Nathan wants to play the guitar really bad. He's wanted to learn for years, ever since a preschool class about guitars. I think he's not quite ready (and, plus...remember that stretched-too-tight budget?) and so he makes do with writing song lyrics (seriously! so sweet!) and playing air guitar with anything handy. This day it was the leaf rake.

Rainbow over Timp. On Tuesday (the 30th) Haley came running in after school, yelling that I needed to come outside quick! I raced to see what the emergency was and she showed me this, a double rainbow over Timp. We've lived in this house for 14 years and I've never seen a rainbow in that spot. I grabbed my camera and discovered my neighbor outside taking pictures of it, too, and so I took this one from her porch---a slightly different perspective than from my house.

In case you've ever wondered what's stuck up on my kitchen door, it's this. It makes me grin in a sardonic (and maybe slightly bitter) way every time I see it. Right now, we're just not thinking about the pending changes, other than praying that something will work out.

Kaleb is a fruit-snack addict. He would eat fruit snacks for every meal and every snack if I would let him. I buy the healthiest fruit snacks I can find, but they're still mostly sugar with a little bit of vitamin C mixed in. This morning one of the kids said "fruit snack" and Kaleb started pleading for one---only I am all out. We searched the pantry and I noticed the bag of Craisins. "Look Kaleb!" I cheered. "Here's some new fruit snacks!" I handed him the bag and he took it with this sort of "what's this?" look on his face. Tried it tentatively and then didn't want to put the bag down. Apparently all I have to do to get him to eat something is tell him it's a fruit snack. Think that might work with any of the myriad foods he won't eat???