Time to Start Again

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's just that it's the first week of January, seven days when the lights on neighbors' houses don't come back on, night by night; when you spend parts of all your days gathering up the detritus of the holidays and ignoring the fact that taking down the Christmas tree seems to be an impossible task---when reality descends. I've had about 89 instances of thinking "hey! that'd be a great blog entry!" over the past two and a half weeks, like my meltdown at the Nordstrom jewelry counter on the day before Christmas when I banged my credit card on the glass counter and swore at the girl who was "helping" me, or my Christmas rundown post involving questions you, too, could answer, or the way my kids think an alien (one who looks and seems like their mother) has replaced me. Mostly I'd rather just put on my pajamas, crawl into bed, and read all day long, ignoring the decorations that really need to come down. I guess I'll just pick one and start again. Is January too late to blog about Christmas? Oh well. Answer some of these on your own blog if you want!

The Gifts
Which gift was an unexpected favorite? Santa brought Jake a Rubix Revolution because he mentioned in passing that he thought it might be cool. (Jake and Haley both had no ideas for their Christmas desires, so Santa was a little anxious this year about them liking anything.) He brought it along to my mom's house for the Christmas afternoon festivities, and aside from my sister who kept wanting it to be turned off, everyone loved it. I think even some of the adults took a turn.

Which gift were you worried about, and how was it received? Nathan has been wanting a knight's castle. Specifically, the Schleich knight's castle. Which is gorgeous & lovely & totally cool, but also painfully expensive, especially considering that the castle doesn't come with any knights, and the knights run $12-$18 each. But then I found the Playmobile knight's castle, that came with tons & tons of knights and accessories. And I loved it. But I worried that he'd think it was too young for him. Not so. He and Jake spent two hours on Christmas morning putting the castle together and then playing with it. Definitely well-received!

Which gift was a dud? Not really a dud, per se. Since about August, Kaleb has been wanting a train set like his cousin's. Ask him what he wanted Santa to bring him, and he'd say "Santa bring my trains!" Of course, Santa came through with the trains. And he liked them for awhile. But when I asked him, on Christmas night before I put him to bed, what his favorite thing from Santa was, he said "the knight castle. I share it with Nathan though." LOL.

The Moments
Describe one moment with each of your kids, not related to gifts, that you never want to forget. Haley: She stayed up late with me on Christmas eve, helping me make the wassail and the casserole for the morning. I love that she's old enough to keep me company on holiday eves, which before were fairly lonely. Also. Because my sister Suzette went to Disneyland for Christmas, Haley was bereft of girl cousins to hang out with at my mom's. So, instead, she hung out with me a lot. She sat at the adult's table and joined in on the conversation. It hit me right then that there are only five more Christmases until she is in college. Can't I freeze time? Jake: On Christmas night, after we were home from my mom's house, Jake sat down with me and Kaleb and we put the train track together. The tree was lit, I had a candle burning, Haley was sitting in the rocking chair reading, and it was just pure, peaceful Christmas joy. Jake is good at puzzles and building stuff, so the track made him just about as happy as it did Kaleb. Nathan: there is that moment of him and Jake putting the castle together, but for just pure me-and-Nathan time, he came and sat by me (again, by my mom's tree) and looked at her ornaments. He is a talker and is almost never quiet, but for a few minutes he just sat with me, his head on my shoulder, and we soaked up Christmas together. Kaleb: after we'd eaten breakfast, he was sitting in my bedroom lining up his new dinosaurs. Out of the blue, he said "Momma, I like Santa." Then he added the baby triceratops to the dino line-up, and you could just see him thinking about what he said. "No," he corrected. "Momma, I love Santa."

Were there any conversations you'd like to remember? At dinner, we talked about my Grandpa Fuzz's death. Probably that seems like a strange conversation to have at Christmas, but he died two days before Christmas, when I was twelve, and my writing challenges had helped me remember a few more details. I wanted to make sure I remembered it correctly. I didn't, but that conversation gave me what I needed so I could write it down correctly. Plus, talking about Grandpa made it feel like he was there with us.

How was this year different from other Christmases? Somehow, Kendell talked me into getting Nintendo DSs for the kids. I am NOT a big fan of video games. But somehow, and I'm not really sure why, this year felt OK. They are all old enough to understand I won't be fighting over the Video Game Rules; they either abide by them or they don't get to play. So, we surprised them. I put the DSs into one big box and had them open it together. They were SO surprised and excited. Jake told Kendell "Dad, I'm glad Mom finally let us be a family with games." (LOL!) Another difference: the holidays always seem to bring on a doozy of an argument between me and Kendell. All the added stress about money, families, get-togethers, etc eventually makes one of us snap. But, I'm happy to say that this year, we avoided the traditional argument. I think I'll make that our NEW tradition!

What random moments will you associate with this Christmas? Teaching Becky how to use the * button on her digital Rebel; my mom hugging me in the kitchen and telling me she'd read my Christmas Letter and it had made her cry; the kids' faces when they opened their Nintendos; watching Kendell and our brother-in-law Shane hanging out at my mom's; my dad's face when my mom opened the gift he thought he picked out and bought for her; that meltdown at the Nordstrom counter; our Christmas-eve snowstorm; reading the Christmas story by the tree while Kaleb drank his pre-bed milk, everyone in their new PJs (even me, this year!); wrapping presents while watching Tin Man on the Sci Fi channel; sitting downstairs in the quiet, dark house, with just the lights from the tree, while I curled ribbon and put the bows on the gifts from Santa; talking to Becky in my driveway while Nathan got his sleep-over stuff.

The Negatives
What did you want to accomplish this year that you didn't? Way back in October, I started searching for Christmas-themed flannel, because I wanted to make a Christmas rag quilt. It took me trips to every single fabric store I know of to find all that I wanted---I was going for a random, crazy-quilt sort of look. Just as I managed to get all the flannel I needed, I saw a quilt in a magazine, and I HAD to have this panel. It's a nativity scene, and the colors are so gorgeous---rich, but not too elegant. I found one fabric store that had it---and they only had one left---so I rushed out that afternoon to get it, along with the coordinating fabrics. My flannel-quilt ambitions were left in the dust as I worked on my nativity quilt. I wanted to finish both quilts before Christmas, and then I just wanted to finish the nativity one, but neither of them actually are done. The nativity is just waiting for me to put the binding on (I thought I had left enough fabric for the binding, but I was THREE INCHES too short, and then in a panic because I'd bought the last of what they had; after many phone calls I found a little fabric store about 25 miles away that had ONE YARD left); the squares for the rag quilt are all cut out, but not sewn together. I think I'll finish the nativity before I pack up all my decorations, and wait until early November to put the rag quilt together for next Christmas. Also, I intended on doing twelve writing challenges but only managed eight.

Was anyone sick, sad, or otherwise discontented? Last year, Jake and Kendell both had Christmas stomach flu. This year, no one got sick until after the 25th, but Kaleb started with a fever a few days later, and ended up with a raging ear infection. Haley was sad that her cousins weren't around. I am very sad (and trying to be forgiving) that Jake broke the Mary to my favorite nativity, the one my mom made for me that is a replica of the one we had growing up. I seriously wept when I found out he'd broken it. He is very sad about it, too.

The Food
What did you prepare this year? For Christmas Eve dinner, we had swiss steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green salad. On Christmas morning, I made cinammon rolls and breakfast casserole, and for dinner I brought the dessert: caramel apple cake and my delicious chocolate cake, which I sprinkled with candy cane crumbs.

What food is essential to your holidays? Strangely enough, the wassail I make on Christmas morning. Each of my Bigs told me, sometime during the days before Christmas, that they couldn't wait for the wassail. Usually I make fudge and caramel, but this year I only got the fudge made. I missed the caramel (my waist didn't, but my sense of Christmas did) and won't neglect it again next Christmas.

Comments

[Kim]

As always, I loved this entry. I'm glad you're back to blogging. We have very different lives, but I feel a connection to you. Although we are really different, we love a lot of the same things. I REALLY felt a connection when I read your "cinnamon rolls and breakfast casserole" line. That's what WE have for breakfast - I make them the night before and bake them Christmas morning. It used to be scones, then when I discovered the roll recipe, it became rolls. But my son loves the breakfast casserole, so I make it too.

[Kasandra]

Amy.......so happy to read your new entry! Been missing you, love all your ideas, will try to use some of them! Love all your Christmas memories......would love to hear the Nordstrom story, lol.......this is Amy??? I said to myself, but that happens to all of us at some point!! I was so good about shopping early enough (but not having it all done in November like some people I know!!) and just finishing....really dislike all the crowds around Christmas! Happy New Year to you and your family.....love Kas

[dana burton]

Hooray! You are back! I enjoy reading your blog entries and depend on them for "things to ponder" or "sparks." Happy New Year, Amy.

[Cris]

Hi Amy,

So glad to see you are back - I check your blog often and alway miss you when you are gone. Loved hearing about your Christmas. Happy New Year!

[Lori]

I'm glad I discovered your blog. I really like it. And guess what, I have a Canon digital rebel, and didn't know what the * button was for - but after your mentioning it, I looked it up in my manual. Thanks!

[Amazed]

I've loved reading the tender moments that you had with your family during the holidays. Those sweet memories are what helps us to hold on during the storm. I've loved all your Christmas posts!

So, have you ever shared your favorite poet?

[chris jenkins]

i love your posts with all the interesting questions and i love the way you write - i hope one day to be a better writer!

i really would love to see the quilts when they are finished! i wish i knew how to quilt. it is the one thing i wish i knew how to do. i can't even make a rag quilt!

happy new year to you :)

[Sophia C.]

Amy, I'm so glad that you shared these tender memories. I could see your kids opening the gifts and mostly, could see you and Haley enjoying Christmas Eve together. That is, indeed, a memory to cherish! As always, love you big!

Sophia

[Wendy]

I want to hear the Nordstrom story, too. Sometimes it's like that, isn't it? I hope the funkies go away soon. Another dear friend was saying the same thing just yesterday, about the post Christmas funk. I love the questions you asked, too . . . as always!

p.s.--I love playmobile!