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Wednesday, July 23, 2008



As a librarian, I have to say--you have done something with yourself. As a child, I don't remember all the books I read or even details about my childhood public library---but I do remember how I felt. I remember how nice the library lady was to me. I am now a children's librarian, and we overuse the phrase, "we're not handing out books, we're impacting the lives of children!" We say that as a joke to each other, but it is certainly true. I imagine you have a great deal of influence on the people around you as a librarian and a mother. You should be proud of yourself.
In all the time spent reading other blogs, I have never commented. And now--I babble. So-I'll stop.

chris jenkins

you have a great way of recalling memories and the details and the feelings and sometimes when i read posts like this one, it jogs memories of my own.

i think as we go through life and encounter different experiences we go through different versions of ourselves, we try different things, shed things that don't work, so that we become better or in some cases worse. life is a lot of trial and error. at least in my case it has been. isn't life about becoming the best versions of ourselves?


love this post, Police and PIL was part of my past, U2 and REM were a big part as well.

It always seems that you are way to hard on yourself. I had the career, and find staying home with my kids a much better use of my time. The kids are usually driving me crazy and the pay stinks, but it beats the hamster wheel of corporate life.


At least now I know I am not the only one with a darker past... Your teenage self sounds a lot like my teenage self. I am jealous that you were able to go to the Police concert. I love Sting!


This post made me a little teary. I can't believe you saw Jennifer. I honestly think that you have nothing to be envious of there. Sorry, old grudges. I always loved Chris, and still do. I am so glad you are still friends, and can imagine the feelings you were having at the concert. I would feel the same way. They say that smelling holds the strongest memories, but music does it to me every time. It can bring back the longing, the angst of it all, so clearly.

Beatiful post! I am glad you went, btw. ;)

Jenny Mick

Your writing just amazes me. You are wonderful! Honestly, except for the librarian part, you could have totally been writing that about me! Thanks for bringing up a lot of memories for me!!


Good post and good ending. But I must admit that at one point, I was very close to being angry with you. So you're not rail thin - most real people aren't. So you haven't had some high powered job. How could anything be more important than raising and teaching and nurturing the next generation and helping them turn into nice people? If I confined my friendships to only those who are rail thin with high powered jobs, I'd be a lonely (and probably shallow) person indeed. I thank God every day for my heavy friend Karen who is what some people would think a boring civil servant. She loves me as I am, helps me through rough spots and laughs like a maniac with me. I think you would be an amazing friend - you are so intelligent, observant and obviously a kind and giving person, except sometimes with yourself. My job involves working with hundreds of millions of dollars, yet what I really want to do is have a positive impact on individual lives every day. I want to help, and you have a helping job. I envy you. And I've run out of steam with this comment, but I think you will get what I was trying to say. From what I can see of you, your perspective and your personality online, I'd say you are pretty amazing. Now I just wish you'd rejoice in it. Life is too short not to enjoy what we are.


I saw the Police last year, and missed them on their return (with my man Elvis even, grrrr).

There is an interesting thing that happens when we run into our younger selves. You've captured it well.

jamie `

It's strange how you can be happy with your life and the choices you have made but something will meet you unexpectedly, an old friend, a phase of life, a big change, etc that will startle you and make you feel as if what you are isn't good enough.

There are so many paths we can take and sometimes we wonder at those not taken.

I don't know if this comparison will make sense but once I stopped by a friends house and saw her hubby making forts in the living room with the kids and the whole way home was incredibly sad because my hubby was not a fortmaking in the liv. room kind of dad. Somehow I was able to be inspired in my sadness to realize that if he was a fortmaker he wouldn't be something else like a great decision maker or so funny he makes me laugh when I'm trying to be mad at him and I decided to like him for what he was & not dwell on what he wasn't. ( I falter now and again....)

The point being. THere's always something left behind and something gained as we choose our way. I think I get why you were sad and vaguely ashamed. Not that you think your life is wrong just a little wondering, a little becoming the old AMy for a moment and seeing your life as she would have seen it.

jamie `

ps my sister saw the police concert in vegas and posted about it on her blog. you can read her story from my "Maury" link if you want. SHe also had lots of similar remembering when moments and wondering. She was also a big concertgoer.

jamie `

p.p.s. I know, I know... it's awfully late to be up emailing!

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