Songs Right Now

Funny, Kendell-Style

One thing I have learned as a runner—specifically as a person who runs on suburban roads as opposed to backwood trails—is that witnesses to your exercise are rarely afraid to say whatever they are thinking. Well, "say" might not be the right word. "Yell as they speed away so that the insult is smeared across a half block or so" is more appropriate. I've had several strange and/or insulting comments shouted at me during runs. Most common: "You'd better keep on running" or some variation. Most memorable: something about boobs. Hmmmmm.

So here's Kendell. Because of his hips he cannot run; the result is lots of time spent inside a gym or on backwood trails. But he rides his bike whenever he can. Strike that—he rides my bike, because it's the bike that almost everyone can ride so it's the bike we leave down, out of the garage rafters, most of the time.  Tonight, he took a quick bike ride over to a friend's house, and noticed a couple out in their yard, cutting up their fallen branches. (My yard isn't the only one that's looking a little ragged this week.) And he overhears a fragment of their conversation, which goes a little bit like this:

"Hey, honey! Have you ever seen a homosexual dude riding a bicycle?"

Ummmmm. Hello? Have you ever met my husband? He's tall. He's muscular. He had that strong Scandinavian build. He is many things, but the epitome of a gay man?* Not so much.

He's also not shy. Usually when someone shouts something rude at me when I'm running, I do what they suggest: I keep on running. If they're not too far down the street I'll wave at them (with all my fingers, not just one). I shrug my shoulders and take home a story. But that would not be how Kendell operates. Not at all.

So he turned his bike around. And instead of letting the couple have it, he chatted them up about their tree. He asked how their evening was going, and about their dog. He met their gaze and kept them squirming with embarrassment, and then he finished his bike ride.

And I would give up chocolate if it meant I could travel back in time and watch the subtle, Kendell-style tossdown in person.

*Please note: I don't think I am suggesting that their is just one stereotypical "gay man" appearance. I just...gah, the thought of someone looking at Kendell, even riding a women's bike, and thinking "gay" is about the funniest thing ever.


Chris Selander

Ha, ha, ha, ha! That made me laugh. I could totally see Kendelll doing what he did! Wish I could have seen it too :)


I can see Kendell doing that, too. I bet he surprised those people!!

jamie `

How great. I don't know Kendell all that well so It's fun to learn something new about him. kill them with kindness eh?

as to people yelling at you. I am always surprised at how mean some people can be. A couple years ago my brother would ride his bike to/from work in california. Most of the roads weren't very busy but he had about a 1/2 mile stretch on a very busy road that always made him nervous but never more so than the day 2 cruel obnoxious girls jeered and threw a beer bottle at him that crashed right in front of him sending glass shards flying up at him. Thank goodness he was allright. He called the police and turns out they'd been harrassing people for a few miles and were already on their way. mean people suck!


Oh yeah! I've been the recipient of the Kendell 'toss-down' as you put it. He's a natural-born leader and has the ability to win people over. Very cool.

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