Book Grandma

This weekend Haley decided that when she's grown up, she wants to become Australian. While I am all for my children growing up and having adventures, I told her she cannot move to Australia. She needs to live closer to me—within reasonable flying distance—both because I need to see her more often than the once every three decades I could afford to fly to Australia and because of the grand kids.

 

I need to be able to have a relationship with my grandchildren.

 

Is that an odd thought for a late-thirty-something to have? Of course, by my age one of my sisters already was a grandma, and I think my mom wasn't much past forty when she become one. Not that I am in any rush—teenage pregnancy isn't the sort of adventure I hope any of my kids have—but I can't wait until it happens.

 

I'm already imagining the sort of grandma I want to be: loving, interested, and involved. I don't want to be a birthdays-and-holidays only grandma; I'd like to be there for things like dance recitals and soccer games and even the stomach flu if someone needs me. (One of my fondest memories is the time I had the stomach flu and my mom had to be somewhere, so I stayed with my grandma for the day. Haley also has a memory like this with my mom. Of course, the hurling and the nausea are not-so-fond memories, but the being-taken-care-of-by-grandma is.) I'll come to every single delivery I am invited to and I'll take care of the toddler when the new baby is born. I will babysit so the parents can go on a date and set up beds on the floor for sleep overs.

 

I'm also planning on being the book grandma.

 

This means that I am saving almost all of the books my kids have read. I was reminded of this yesterday, since I spent nearly its entirety working on reorganizing and decluttering Nathan and Kaleb's bedroom, including their bookshelf. I was ruthless: I took a big stack of books with torn bindings to the recycle bin. I had two bags of garbage by the time I was finished, and another big pile to donate to the library. (It helped that Nathan and Kaleb were both at school during this process, so I didn't have anyone to argue with.) But I kept all the important titles. I boxed up all the baby board books too, wondering who I will be when I need to get back into that box. When I have grandkids, I plan on reading to them from the books their parents loved (like our bedraggled copy of Rock-a-bye Farm, a book that helped each of my toddlers learn the all-important skill of matching farm-animal sounds with the farm animals; sadly it's out of print or I would give it to every new baby I know). I imagine that one day, I'll have some sort of grandbaby to sit on my lap and read Goodnight Moon or Brown Bear, Brown Bear or If You Were my Bunny to.

But I also plan on being the book grandma in a different way: I'm going to give them books. For every birthday and every Christmas. There'll probably be something else to go along with the books. But there will be books as presents from Grandma Amy. And I will inscribe every single one of them. I have some books that my parents or Kendell's gave to one kid or another as gifts, but only a few of them are inscribed. I wish they all were. I wish our copy of Where the Wild Things Are (given to Jake when he turned three) had both of my parents' handwriting on the inside cover. In fact, now that both the grandpas are gone, I cannot say how sad I am that while both of them loved reading and gave my kids books, neither of them inscribed any.

It will be a few years until any of these goals come to fruition. I don't even really know why I'm writing them today, except for I felt the presence of that future Amy so strongly yesterday. Perhaps it was one of those time bending moments, where we can almost hear the whispers from tomorrow. Future-Amy wanted me to know that the part of my life that involved reading board books to babies won't be closed forever; that one day I'll open up the box of baby books and read them to someone again. It was just the sort of hopeful whisper I love.

Comments

[Lucy]

This is an interesting concept to me because neither my parents nor Jay's are what I'd call "daily" grandparents. They're not birthday and holiday grandparents either, but considering the distance of mine and the current situation of Jay's (temple president and matron) we don't see either of the very much. Sometimes it makes me sad but I'm pretty sure the hovering type would make me batty.

I don't know what kind of grandma I'll be. I'm not really expecting my children to stay where we live. I fully plan on them leaving for college and then wherever their lives, jobs, families take them. But, I love the idea of being a book grandma. I may just copy that idea.

[wendy]

Mmmmm . . . nice. I love giving books as gifts, too. It is one of my favorite things to give.

Funny, because I'm not a voracious reader, and you know my picky habits. But still, I love the written word, love sharing great finds, and hope my child(ren?) will love reading as much as I did when I was younger.

You will be an awesome Grandma!

[Jamie]

It's not odd to have those thoughts in your thirties.... or if it is then we can be odd together. I boxed up some wooden train tracks/trains and wooden puzzles, thinking they'd be great toys for "grandkids. I also have a really hard time getting rid of books unless they're trashed. I have been trying to go through my bookshelves and I just can't get rid of any..... my mom feels very strongly about inscribing books that she gives. I don't because I'm always afraid they'll want to return then and then won't be able to. I do not have gift giving confidence.... I suppose.

[Margot/NZ]

One of the titles I'm most proud of is that my great-niece calls me "Auntie Book". I've given her a book for her birthday and Christmas since the day she was born, 8 years ago in April. She's old enough to call me by my given name now, but I love it that she persists in using the name she came up with for me when she was smaller.

[jody]

Amy your daughter is more than welcome to come stay with me!!

[Wendy]

When my oldest brother was the only one with kids, I discovered a wonderful series called "Building Christian Character." My all-time favorite was "Buzzle Billy" about a Buzzle who grew gimmee hands because of his inability to share.

I'm normally quite the skin-flint with money, but every chance I got, I would buy and present the gift of one of these books. I'll never forget poor Eric (about 4) when he opened the present and wailed, "It's just a book," and ran away sobbing. Of course, his parents reprimanded him and I felt sad that he didn't really want "a book."

My oldest would have responded in the same way, but my two younger boys love getting books. In fact, Trevor was anxious for today's memorial service for my father-in-law because he left a beloved Christmas gift book (about real monsters and creatures of the Bible) at Grandma's house over Christmas.

[Kasandra]

Love this post Amy!! I have one little grandson...first time Grandma for me! But they live 7 hours away which is hard. I will remember this though...have books on my shelf that I can't part with because I know I will want to read them to my grandkids when they come to visit!!