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Friday, April 01, 2011



Wow! That is poetically beautiful! I am touched. I see those same things in my healthy dad - his internal silence. I wish he would tell me things about him, his past, but he doesn't. He shrugs off his past as if it didn't matter. But it does matter to me.

Kim D

My dad din't have Alzheimers, but he was also silent. I wonder, are more men, our dads, like that than are women?

Amy, what you wrote is poignant and beautiful. I hope one day you gather these things you've written about your dad and put them into a bound book. It might even be something other family members of Alzheimers patients would like to read. I think you need a publisher.

Pamela K.



Beautiful Amy - so thought provoking. I watched my Grandmother go through this. She was a fighter.... that's what came through, her strong, strong will, her independence and frustration with losing it..... and some pretty questionable language came out of her mouth too. :) So hard to watch, but it reminded me of the same things you mentioned (although, I could never have put it in the words you did).... how we need to fill our lives with good.... I guess, if I ever get to that point, I don't want to be yelling and kicking and fighting..... I'd rather be quiet...... I don't know if it means you are more at peace, but I am hoping it shows that you have a calm spirit. With that beings said I a seriouisly strong will and a very fighting spirit..... Hugs & Thanks fore the beautiful post.

Becky K

Thank you for going and visiting him. I get so lonely for him when I think of him there by himself.

Beautiful post.


This has such raw emotion, amy, I'm almost embarrassed to read it. I'm sorry. I'm just really, really sorry that your dad and his loved ones are going through this. What a horrible disease.


This was deeply profound and hauntingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your raw emotions in a way that reaches and touches others. I'm glad you write. Please don't ever stop. May I have your permission to copy a few of your posts into my journal?


I am glad I read this, and yet somehow, I feel like I need to go cleanse my palate with some Tom and Jerry, or Spongebob. ;)

You are a good person to go see him like that. I have issues with how I want my last memories to be of loved ones.

The final memories I have of my three grandparents: haunting, white shocks of hair, and emotional outbursts. Helpless in crumbled bodies. Not memories I am glad I have. I would rather see them in my minds eye as the robust, plump, wrinkled, happy and peaceful grandparents they were, up until that final year or so.

I haven't been to see my remaining grandpa in a year. I can't do it. I feel guilty.

I probably need some type of therapy.

Keshet Shenkar

This is really powerful and beautiful, Amy. I'm sorry you're going through this.


I'm always so impressed with how you "see" things. To find this truth in a painful visit to a care center. I was really touched by this post. I echo the comments of others. Profound. Beautiful. you made me cry and then think of my grandmother who left this world in an alzheimers cloud. At first I thought I might have to disagree because my grandma got kind of mean, especially to my dad (her son) and I couldn't think of her essential self as mean/cruel. Then I read Cris' comment and realized I could classify it as something else. She, also, was a fighter, a strong will and I think she was fighting against the injustice of her youth and my dad was not her son anymore he was a representation of those who had been cruel to her. maybe. well. I know I'll be thinking about this one for a few days.


I agree with Kim - you capture the essense of the situation (its pain and its lesson) so well. How sad that he has lost his words. I think that would be a living hell for me - to still be here on this earth and yet have no way to get the words out ... or even to no longer have words to share.

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