Twenty Miles

Back at the beginning of July, when I was slowly building my long runs into the low and middle teens, I approached my 15-mile run with trepidation. Fourteen miles was the longest I had ever run in my life, so all longer runs are new territory. When I finished running 15 miles, I was tired. Tired. I kept thinking: how am I going to do the marathon, now that I've signed up and am officially committed? How will I be able to run for eleven more miles when I feel so wiped out after running just 15?

But, I took a deep breath. I reread some of the marathon training sites I like. I reminded myself to trust in the process, and I moved on in my training plan.

Strangely enough, I started to get nervous to do my long runs. Sometimes these nerves have been nearly enough to undo my resolve to get my shoes and out the door---but not quite. I've missed a couple of shorter (5 mile) runs, but not a single long run. I got through the nerves by focusing on my process of getting ready. I've done all of my long runs in my favorite pink running skirt. It's my favorite because it's exactly the right length, a titch longer than the usual running skirt, which means the shorts under the skirt are long enough to cover my chubby inner thighs and prevent chafing. But I also love it because it has two little pockets, one on each leg. Pockets mean I can carry some fuel for my run (namely, Cliff Blocks). To get ready for each long run, I follow the same process: get dressed, apply sunscreen to my face, Myomed to my knees, and Glide to my bunions. Then I sit down and make sure I have no toe fuzz before I put on my socks (trust me...multiplied by so many miles, even the tiniest bit of toe fuzz can be disastrous), which are always, on long runs, my favorite cushioned pair of SmartWools. I find my watch and my MP3 player, and then I pull my hair back into a ponytail. This action---the making of the ponytail---is a sort of switch. Once I do that, my nerves start to calm. It cues my body that it is ready to go and I don't need to worry.

In August, I got to this point I’ve never been to in my running: wondering what I am doing. Training for a marathon takes a lot of time. It nearly feels like a second part-time job. I’d been getting more and more obsessive about not deviating even a bit from my training plan. And while my body has changed a little bit—it feels a bit stronger and leaner and tighter—the fact that my scale wouldn’t budge (still hasn’t) was discouraging. Still, I’m trying to not let this feeling discourage me, but push through it. And I’ve had some long runs that have been amazing.

Last week, I made it to the litmus of marathon training: the twenty mile run. This is approached by a two-steps-forward, one-step-back sort of approach: mileage is increased for two weeks in a row, and then jumps back a bit for a rest week. (If you consider fifteen miles restful, which, oddly enough, they do feel just like that: 15 miles is short when the week before you ran 18.) Depending on the training schedule you're using---I'm using Hal Higdon's intermediate plan---you build up to one or two 20 mile runs (or, sometimes, longer), and then you taper, which means the last two weeks or so before the race, you run less and less, to give your body a chance to rest before the next big push---26.2 miles.

For my first twenty mile long run, I plotted a route that took me along Utah Lake, one of my favorite places to run. It was partly out and back, partly through neighborhoods, partly along quiet back roads. And right through an enormous construction project I hadn't taken into account. The hazards of running through a construction zone (the catcalls from the workers, the lack of any sort of shoulder on the road and the fact that I was often running right alongside cars and praying none of them hit me; at one point, a kind and non-catcalling construction dude had me wait for a minute while he stopped all the cars going both ways so I could run without fearing death) slowed me down a bit. But in general, I felt awesome. Tired, of course, but not excessively so. I finished 20.5 miles (I threw in that extra .5 mile just to make sure) and felt like I could keep going.

In fact, I feel ecstatic. Euphoric. Absolutely confident that I can run a marathon.

Not so yesterday, when I finished my second twenty miler. For this run, I took a completely different route. I started from my dentist's office (after getting a cleaning and hearing the news that two more of my fillings have cracked), headed down to the river trail, and started up the canyon. Usually when I do an out-and-back along the river trail, I'm happy. It was beautiful. But I was almost immediately weary. It's one of the strange things about running. Sometimes you feel perfect: energetic, and smooth gliding, and that's when running feels nearly effortless. Other days, it's the exact opposite: as if your shoes are made out of concrete and you weigh an extra 100 pounds and there's a layer of wet wool stuck in your trachea that you must pull air through. The latter is how I felt yesterday from the very beginning; not an auspicious start to a run that took me 3 hours and 20 minutes (excluding water breaks!)

But I slogged along. I've been listening to the Harry Potter audio books during my long runs, so he, Ron, and Hermione traveled along with me. I stopped for water and a Block and a quick ITB stretch at every fountain; I also doused my forearms, which somehow helps me feel cooler. I reapplied sunscreen once an hour or so. And I moved slower, and slower, and slower. The last half mile of my twenty was a steep uphill, and I'm not even sure the way I moved up that hill could be called "running." I did make myself put on a burst of speed for the last block, but I confess: I don't know what I would have done if I had to run six more miles.

I finished my second twenty feeling horrible. Nauseous and dizzy and exhausted. My legs hurt, the entire length of them, as if it wasn't blood but needles running through my veins. My lungs were spent, my back ached, and my knees were as stiff as an old woman's. I felt the opposite of last week's twenty: dejected and unhappy and defeated. Completely sure whether or not I can run a marathon.

Now, a day after my second twenty, I’m feeling a little bit better. I’m hoping it was so hard because it was the second one, and I didn’t give my body a chance to rest between them. Or that it was the dentist’s fault, or the fact that I didn’t start until almost 11:30, or the heat or the route or the mysterious indefinable thing that just makes running hard. I am, I confess, looking forward to my upcoming weeks of tapering. And I’m trying to take a deep breath (even though my lungs seem like the most tired part of my entire body) and trust, again, in the strength and wisdom of the process. I hope it will be enough to get me through my upcoming 26.2 miles

Comments

[Jenna]

I have missed a lot of your blog posts - I didn't realize you are running a marathon. I am in the pre-pre-contemplation phase. I want to run a half in Charlotte, NC in November & then maybe (big maybe) run the full in DC in March. I love reading about your training. If you can do 20 miles, I think I can.

I totally understand the mystery feeling that goes with running. Sometimes it is a lot of fun & other times (usually?) it is hard. Good luck!!!

[Jamie]

It's all amazing to me. I am in awe of what you're doing.

[Becky K]

I am sorry your 20 mile this week wasn't good! But it's awesome that you got through it. The longest run I've ever done other than a marathon is 15, but that is because we were vastly unprepared for the one we did.

I can relate to the training for a marathon being like a part time job. You spend your whole life either running or worrying about running. You are almost there - a few more weeks and you will be a marathoner!! Wahoo!

[Jessica W]

It's hard to believe those 20's will get you through the marathon, but they will! (Even those horrible 20's)Somehow with the race day adrenaline going you survive that last 6.2. Good Luck!

[elizabeth]

I believe you will do it, Amy!!

[Stephanie W]

Keep up the hard work. You are going to do great.

[Shaunte]

I bow to you, I ran a 5K once.
Races=Not my thing.
Your post made me tired. lol.