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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Comments

Becky Kump

I agree with you. Both options are hard, and come with their own challenges. I hated leaving both of my kids when they were babies, and I relished the days when I got to be home with them. But there were also days when I was home that I would have liked to be at work instead. No matter what, life is hard, and it doesn't make it easier to judge other people and discount the choices they have made thanks.

Great post!

Jillian

Wow. A very thought-provoking essay, and a conversation I've had a number of times. I reject Ms. Bunco's wealth = moral supremacy argument altogether. People are unable to educate themselves for many reasons,including financial ones, so I reject the idea that lack of education is a 'choice.' What's more, as a working-from-home (university educated) mom, I would argue that raising my children is the most important job I will ever do. Each family must balance practicalities - like being able to pay for food! - with giving kids the care and attention they need and deserve. And yes, whether you are happy staying at home is part of the equation. Ultimately feminism is about being able to do whatever you dream of doing - whether it's making a home or heading a corporation. Both are valid and necessary roles.

Britt

I think it's interesting to see what nitpicky things become issues in politics. Back in the 90's Ann was criticized for saying that she and Mitt hadn't had a serious fight for years. That's supposedly why he lost the election for the US Senate. All I can gather from that is that our country has a problem with family values in politics.

This incident reminds me so much of Teresa Heinz Kerry saying that Laura Bush had never had a real job. She was just a teacher and librarian...

Julie

We all have different moccasins worn out in different places. I never found a man who wanted to marry me and have children, so I am childless, unmarried, and teach other people's kids day in and day out, perceived by many as a failure. All choices, I guess, ultimately. I guess my best choice each day is to just keep walking and not judge other people's journeys.

Apryl

Again, Amy, you totally wrote what I was thinking.

Ginger

When it comes to the big debate, stay at home or work, it is harder to be a working mom. I've done it full time work-wise and part time school-wise and it was hard, hard, hard. When I'm home, the washer goes all day, I have plenty of time to do the dishes and make dinner, etc and sometimes I still don't (wash clothes, do dishes or make dinner). I have a choice and that's why it is easier. Working leaves a small window of opportunity to get things done.

However, politics are getting annoying. It's all about who was rude and were they Republican or Democrat? The things the media bring up, totally lame.

Good for you for doing what you need to do. If I could work and make enough to pay a babysitter, right now I would. But if I were to get a job now, it would cover a sitter and the gas to get there. We are not rich. At all.

Isabel

I'm glad you got our of the bunco group. Sounds like their new boots were cutting off the circulation to their brains.

This debate is an old one and one that will never be "won". I, personally, think that both SAHM and WM both wish to be the other from time to time. I know I wish I could be a SAHM some of the time and I'm sure the SAHM's I know wish they could "get dressed up in fancy boots" and go to work every so often.

(I feel glee when I look in my closet and see my seven pairs of boots. I love them so much. But I love even more that I bought half of them used and the other half on super-duper-ultra sale.)

(You brought up boots a lot, so I felt the need to discuss boots further.)

Thanks for always being so good at putting your thoughts into words. You're amazing.

Lucy

I think women should get to choose...whatever. I think the anger and blame come when someone, usually a woman, doesn’t feel like she had that choice, whether it’s staying home or working. Ultimately, though, no one knows the myriad of reasons why any of us make the choices we do. Like you explained so well, it’s not usually a decision that comes easily or without sacrifice. For anyone.

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