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Monday, August 29, 2016



Oh dearie! I *hear* you. You should go back a couple week's posts where I laid all our medical stuff out and all the fear... It is *very* real, that terror, and when one scare layers on top of another...holy Toledo Batman. No fun at all. The shakes eventually go away, but it takes time. I am so proud of you for grabbing onto hope. It is such a scary first step, but it's the first step to healing. I am cheering you on!!! Sending you all the love these bits and bytes can hold. Xo (PS. This right here is why I dearly love IG. What an amazing community.)


My husband lost his job in the spring of 2013, and two months later our fourth child was born via emergency c-section and spent 9 days in the NICU...to a tune of $100,000. That was when I stopped creating. Later, I had two cancer scares (I'm ok, fortunately). Even now, three years later, with a new job in place and a healthy toddler, I find it hard to create. I have been so shaken by the experiences of the last few years, I feel I don't even know myself. I make things occasionally, on deadline, when I have a specific use in mind. Mostly, I find myself a ball of anxious tension and being still enough to create, or read, or even to pray sometimes, is impossible. I am just trying to be patient as I'm sure it's partly a form of PTSD. But I want you to know, I get it. I hear you.


I read the blog post that you linked to this blog post of yours once I finished reading your words. I have to say that the idea of motherhood and maybe more accurately family- hood being linked to fear so closely is something that I know for sure, but have never qualified as well as you did in the post. Also, I am a person who creates, and I experience the more short-term lack of creative interest from time to time. I have always looked at those shorter breaks in creating as almost cleansing my creativity, or as time that encourages me to be able to find joy in another endeavor. I have never thought about creating as a means of abiding in Christ. Never. In fact, I am going to have to put some serious thought behind that idea. I thank you for this post. It has given me a lot to think about. Looking forward to seeing what you used your courage to create.

Melanie Bell

This is so spot on for me. It sounds dumb, but in February I started working on a 3000-piece puzzle that my kids got me for Christmas. I worked on it at night after the kids were in bed while my husband & I watched tv. Or at random times during the day when I had a few minutes to kill. And then on March 30th, I found out Aidan (my 8yo) has cancer, and my world stopped turning. I couldn't look at that stupid puzzle. My sewing machine started to gather dust. I actually planted a few tomato and pepper plants in June, and then I never watered them and haven't looked at them since. My ability to create completely halted. My parents came to visit me last month and my dad finished that puzzle. (It had the thickest layer of dust on it.) I was so glad to take a picture of it and put it in its box. Now I'm feeling the itch to buy fabric and make a blanket for a friend who's dying of cancer. If I can start that project, then maybe I'll be pulling away from my fear a little? At least I'll feel like I have a small piece of myself back. (Sorry for the long comment, but thanks for the chance to sort out my own emotions.)

Feisty Harriet

Yes. This.

I have been forcing myself to churn out some writing pieces, but not the way I have wanted them to turn out. However, I went MONTHS without touching a paintbrush, which is the truly soul-driven creative endeavor I love at the moment. My heart just couldn't. And so my hands couldn't. It's been horrible.


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